I was born a ramblin' (wo)man

I have no homework assignments due until next Thursday (woo hoo!). I only have a take-home exam to work on, and multiple research papers of course, but they aren't due until after that. So I said to myself, what should I do tonight? I could work on my thesis, but I probably won't get anywhere; I've had a difficult time focusing today. So I had some top ramen for dinner (good comfort food) and watched Father of the Bride, but then that ended. I read over my roommate's statement of intent for grad school, but now I'm done with that, too. Then I thought about writing a new blogpost because it's been a while. But what to write about? I thought that maybe I could talk about how school is going, or about work, but nobody really wants to read that. I don't even want to read that. I could write about how I've been doing more hardcore exercise lately to help me lose weight...there, I've written about that. Maybe I could write about my social life. Oh, wait -- I don't really have one. Hmm. I could write about church and spiritual things, but most of that stuff on my mind lately has been too personal to share on a public blog. I could write about...what? Nothing comes to mind. Maybe my brain just needs a rest. Looks like I have nothing to say, then, yet somehow I've written an entire paragraph. Go figure.

This blogpost about absolutely nothing has been brought to you by sheer exhaustion, a burgeoning headache, increasingly lower mental capacity, and possibly The Mask. Or maybe Harrison Ford. "No! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!"

Penguin out -- "...you didn't see anything..."

X-men: More First Class than Harry Potter

There were two movies that I was looking forward to more than anything else that came out this summer: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" and "X-men: First Class".

Overall, Harry Potter was very good. I really enjoyed going with my two best friends to see it at midnight when I was home in California. But I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit that I was a little disappointed. It wasn't because of changes from the book, though there was one change in particular that I think would have made people who paid attention but didn't read the book ask some questions about what happened with "x". They could have dropped nothing and just added 30 seconds or a minute to the film time to solve that. The reason was that there were multiple parts when I thought, "Really? That's the best you could do? I've seen you do better." These were emphasized by the fact that there were multiple other parts in the movie where I was blown away because they did such a good job. Why didn't they do that for the whole movie? I don't know. But it was still generally good.

But X-Men: First Class...that was amazing. I LOVED it. I know there were many things that were changed from the comics and from the cartoons, but still. I was very impressed. Good visuals, interesting plot (just ignore the historical alterations), great dialogue, an excellent villain, and overall a good background story for several of the characters, which I think will shed a different light upon reviewing X-men 1-3. It was my favorite live-action film that has been released in quite a while. If you haven't seen it yet, you should.

The music is all around you. All you have to do is listen.

August Rush is about a boy who is a musical genius. He doesn't know who doesn't know who his parents are but knows that the music will lead him to them and them to him. He knows that music is their connection, and music is everything. “You know what music is? God`s little reminder that there`s something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars.”

For August Rush, music is everywhere... “Listen. Can you hear it? The music. I can hear it everywhere...in the wind...in the air...in the light. It`s all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do...is listen.”

Right now, I am listening...and I can hear it. I can hear it in the click of the keys and the hum of my laptop fan. I can hear it in waves from the air conditioner. I can hear it in the rustling of the blinds, in my feet rubbing against the wall. I can hear it in the cars rushing by outside, and the train nearby. I can hear it in the imagined sounds floating on the air.

August said, “Where I've grown up, they tried to stop me from hearing the music. But when I'm alone it builds up from inside me. And I think if I could learn how to play it, they might hear me. They would know I was theirs...and find me.” My situation is slightly different. Where I went to college, they tried to stop me from hearing the music. Three auditions for the music program—my greatest wish—proved a fruitless cause. Their rejection letters told me I didn’t cut it. The faces of the music students told me I was undeserving, that they were the ones who deserved to hear and make music, not me. But when I’m alone, it builds up from inside me. And I think if I could learn how to really play it, to summon it, to embody it, they might hear me. They would know I was theirs...and find me. Who are “they”? Anyone who would know my soul...my dearest friends...my perfect match...anyone to whose life I might bring the gift of music. “They” are more than people who might know me. They are the music themselves...the muses, the rhythms, the notes, the chords, the harmonies...if I could learn how to call it, the music might hear me. It might know I belong to it and find me.

And maybe that has been my problem. August “[believed] in music the way that some people believe in fairy tales.” I lost my wholehearted faith in music to lift me up, to rescue me while troubled, to save me from the difficulties of life and set me free as it always used to. When I failed to qualify for the music program at school, I doubted music and I doubted myself. But as August’s father told him, “You never quit on your music. No matter what happens. Cuz anytime something bad happens to you, that's the one place you can escape to and just let it go. I learned that the hard way. And anyway, look at me. Nothing bad's gonna happen. You gotta have a little faith.” I shouldn’t have doubted music, or even my own ability to make it. I should never have given up on it because anytime something bad happens to me—anytime someone tells me that I shouldn’t try to make music—music is the one place I can escape to and just let it go. I need to have a little faith.

When asked how the music comes to him, August responded, “I just hear it. Sometimes I wake up and it's there...or I hear it when I'm walking down the street. It's like someone's calling out to me. Writing it all down is like I'm calling back to them, the ones who gave me the music.” I haven’t been listening for the music, but I am listening now, and I can hear it. I can feel it, like a rushing in my heart, like waves crashing on the sea, like sunlight radiating inside me. It’s like someone’s calling out to me. I have to find a way to answer back, to channel this gift into a way to call back to them.

“Listen. Can you hear it? The music. I can hear it everywhere...in the wind...in the air...in the light. It`s all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do...is listen.”

I’m listening.

Books, Film, and Media Literacy

As a fan of both books and movies, I am pleased when I find out that a book I like is going to be made into a movie or when a film I like was adapted from a book. It’s interesting to compare the two, particularly to see what was changed when the book was made into film. Most of the time I can understand why this or that change was made, but when I can’t, I have to tell myself that the movie and the book are different forms of media and I have to consider them as separate entities.

I’m sure each of us knows at least one person who hates films adapted from books. They consider themselves purists, that any changes made for the film defile the story. But if you pause to think about it, would it really be better to include everything in a film exactly as it is in the book? If a movie-maker were to include every little detail from the book, the film would likely be an utter disaster (an example: see “Twilight”). For one thing, books are long, and few if any people would want to watch a 10 hour production of one book. For another, how many parts of books have to do with concerns such as a lack of resources on a long journey? These fit well in a book because the pages have room for them and they are valid concerns, yet on film they would detract from the excitement of other events or would get annoying with the repetition.

I understand the purist perspective, and there are a number of books-turned-movies that I take issue with for the same reason. For example, take the film “Ella Enchanted” (spoilers if you haven’t seen it): in the book, there’s no evil uncle who usurped the throne and wants to have Ella kill the prince. I understand why they changed it, because Ella’s main struggle in the book is with how her curse might be used to force her to endanger the Prince. I also understand why at the end they have her fight the curse with a knife in her hand, actually struggling to prevent herself from killing him, rather than fighting an internal battle when the Prince asks her to marry him as in the book. These things are internal battles that are much more easily described in a book than on film. Films require visuals (obviously); therefore it makes perfect sense that they would create visuals for these internal conflicts because we cannot easily get inside a person’s head on film. Even though I understand them inventing the evil uncle, it bothers me because they had to change/create an extensive portion of the story for the film adaptation. I believe there are other ways they could have altered the story to show the threat of her curse against the Prince without inventing so many changes.

Here are some more examples of appropriate changes (as I interpret them) to books-turned-movies (again, spoilers):

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – They took out the scene at the end with Hermione using logic in the potions room to figure out which potion they should drink. Why? It was too long (especially for a children’s movie), and Hermione had already had the chance to show off her skills with the Devil’s Snare, giving her one opportunity, Ron one opportunity, and Harry one opportunity before Harry’s final fight with Quirrel at the end.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – Instead of having Dobby bring Harry the gillyweed as in the book, they had Neville do it. Why? It advanced the idea that Neville is good at herbology, and also gave his character a slightly more prominent role in the film. Plus, it was easier to film Matthew Lewis doing the action than do the computer graphics required to create Dobby’s image enacting the part.

The Little Mermaid – In the movie she becomes human and they live happily ever after. In the book she becomes the foam of the sea. Why the change? It’s a children’s movie, of course. I don’t think I need to explain it further.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – At the end of this movie, they adapt the end of the book with the beginning of the Two Towers. They created a scene showing Boromir fighting to save Merry and Pippin, with slow motion showing one of the enemy shooting him with one arrow, then two, then three, him struggling to fight more Orcs in spite of each arrow. In the book, we see none of this battle; instead, we follow Aragorn, who finds Boromir lying on the ground after a great battle, ridden with many arrows. Why? In the book we are free to imagine the great battle that he fought alone. In a film, there is no time to stop and imagine because the visuals are right in front of you and moving super quickly. In recreating what might have happened, the film touches each viewer, showing Boromir’s tragic end, allowing the viewers to commiserate with Aragorn. Also at the end of this film and before Boromir’s fight with the Orcs, they foreshadow his attempt to take the ring from Frodo by showing several camera shots back and forth between the two. You can’t do this in a book, but in the movie it is a subtle but distinct demonstration that something is going to happen between them.

I’ve said too much, but my point is that a book can be excellent and a film can be excellent. They can even both be excellent when they are about the same story. But as different forms of media, they have to portray that story in different ways. Books can’t use music to warn the audience of potential danger like movies can. Movies have much more difficulty showing the passage of time than books do, and often movies that jump around between past, present, and future are confusing and difficult to follow. Books have the freedom of length and time for imagination that movies do not, but movies can use blocking, tracking, camera angles, and lighting to help them tell the story. Each form is good in its own right, and each ought to be considered for their individual contributions to story-telling.

Lifelong Imprisonment: the Beast or Gaston?

Watching a good old Disney movie is the perfect thing to do while cleaning: I’ve seen ‘em a million times and I always enjoy them, which makes them great motivators.  So, this afternoon I put on Beauty and the Beast while I was cleaning my room.  I got the DVD for Christmas and this was its maiden voyage.  All in all, it was a successful experience – the movie worked fine and my room is now clean.  Hallelujah.  But this is all background information.

You see, it occurred to me while I was watching the movie that Belle makes two decisions that when put together reveal something very interesting.  At the beginning of the movie, Belle comes to a dark, imposing castle and finds her sick father stuck in a drafty tower.  Seconds later a terrifying, monstrous Beast shows up.  Although there really could be nothing positive about it, she readily agrees to stay in the tower forever as the Beast’s prisoner so that her father can go free.  She is even the one to suggest it and determinedly resigns herself to her sad fate.  The Beast shows none of his hidden softness or kindness in this encounter, and Belle has no idea of what the future will hold, yet she throws away her young life.  Could this be because she really hates her “provincial life” that badly?  No, I think it is because she really wants to protect her father and has faith that the future will turn out for her situation.

At the end of the movie, her father is in another kind of danger.  The people of her town come to lock away her father in an asylum because they think she is crazy.  All of this was orchestrated by Gaston, who tells Belle that if she agrees to marry him then her father will go free.  Belle’s horrified is response is a vehement “Never!”  Is this because her father’s life was more in danger while a prisoner of the Beast than while stuck in the loony bin?  Possibly, but I don’t know about that.  In asylums back then, proper care and medications to sedate violent patients were not available, so he could easily have fallen victim of neglect or violence.  Maybe she responded that way because she had the mirror and thought she could prove her father wasn’t crazy…but I think she was smart enough to realize that no one would listen, especially with Gaston controlling the crowd.  She just had to try.  And even when Gaston gets angry enough that he accuses her of being crazy, too, she doesn’t try to come up with a compromise like agreeing to marry him then if he’ll spare them both of the asylum.  Notice how he doesn’t call her crazy until she doesn’t respond to his accusation that she has feelings for the Beast and she says that Gaston is the true monster.  He accepts that the Beast is real when she reveals him in the mirror, which should mean that her father can go free, since his talk of the Beast is what made them call him crazy in the first place.  But because Belle calls Gaston a monster, his pride is so damaged that he throws both Belle and her father in the prisoner cart.  She could have agreed to marry Gaston to save her father from committal, but lands both of them in the asylum (luckily, Chip is there to save them, but that is not pertinent to this story).

I’m not trying to tear down a great Disney movie, I promise.  I just want to focus on this interesting juxtaposition.  Belle is willing to remain a prisoner in an enchanted castle for the rest of her life, yet she is not willing to marry a man who could provide a home and comfort for her for the rest of her life.  Both the Beast and Gaston are jerks to her, the Beast even more openly so.  Why does she choose him at the beginning and not Gaston at the end?  Is it because at the beginning she doesn’t have a satisfactory life, but by the end she is in love with the Beast even though she doesn’t realize it?  Maybe…

I think the most likely reason is that Gaston is a narcissistic toolbag.  And a chauvinist pig.  The Beast is mean, sure, but even at the beginning Belle must have seen that he was a lonely creature who had nothing to live for, and was lashing out because of his inner pain and anguish.  Gaston shows that even at the beginning, he has no respect for women: “It’s not right for women to read; soon they start getting ideas, thinking…”  Gaston wants Belle for a prize.  The Beast only wants a prisoner and doesn’t seem to care whether it is an old man or a young woman.  If anything, the Beast reveals a glimmer of hope when he tentatively asks her, “You would…take his place?”  That suggests that he wants her there more than her father, so he is likely to treat her better than he treated him.  Gaston is shallow and vain, but is not your average puffed up windbag.  There is an element of violence that lies beneath his egotistical exterior, showing that if they had gotten married he’d probably be an abusive husband.  Beast has a cold, hard exterior with an aching but warm heart beneath, whereas Gaston is outwardly likeable and inwardly a cold, selfish brute. 

So guys, maybe you’re a little hard on the exterior, but if you learn to let that go and show a warm heart, maybe a beautiful girl will fall for you.  And if you want to get married, don’t be narcissistic toolbags or chauvinist pigs, or nice girls will choose the insane asylum over you.

Turning 23: Thoughts and Celebrations

Over the weekend, I did not write any posts, not because I have already given up on my goal of writing at least every weekday but because it was my birthday!  I think that’s a valid excuse, and if you don’t, you probably shouldn’t be reading this anyway.  So today’s post will not be about any particular issue or topic in which I am interested; I’ll just tell you how my birthday weekend (#23) was.  And if you don’t want to read it, maybe my posterity will.  Doesn’t matter to me.  =)

On Friday, I went with T and M out to dinner at La Dolce Vita, a little family-owned Italian food restaurant in town.  I got a spinach calzone with mozzarella, parmesan, and ricotta cheeses, covered in Ragú sauce.  It was divine.  Then we went and Redbox’d “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” (my choice; I had already seen it but was in the mood, and I knew T and M hadn’t seen it).  I figured that even though Molly isn’t into gaming so much (neither am I, but I at least know how it works), she’d enjoy the plotline and at least appreciate a well-done film.  Of course, she absolutely hated it, which made me feel bad for making her watch it—I really thought that she’d at least enjoy it somewhat, but apparently she loathes gaming that much.  At least T liked it and wants to buy it now!  

Saturday was also fantastic.  P and I got French toast at Kneader’s for breakfast.  If you’ve never had French toast from Kneader’s for breakfast, you are missing out.  I LOVE French toast and it is the best French toast I have ever had.  Yes, it’s that good.  We then went and got manicures, which were sorely needed – I hate how dry Utah is, because my hands get so cracked and dry.  Hooray for aesthetics schools in the area that will service you for cheap.  She dropped me off at my sister K’s, where I hung out with her, her husband R, my sister C, her husband C, and their son J.  It was a good day: we played Bohnanza, Mario Kart wii (for J; he threw a fit every time we turned it off), and Imaginiff. Highlight of that game: “If K (my sister) and Santa Claus had a baby…” Fitting, because K is almost 7 months pregnant; sad that R had to find out this way who the real father is. =P  We also had celebratory cake and ice cream (chocolate chip cookie dough).  For the cake, we attempted something new: we made spice cake for a two-layered cake, then for the “glue” we used apple pie filling instead of a layer of frosting.  The frosting ended up being Funfetti vanilla frosting (leftover’s from J’s third birthday last month).  It turned out quite delectable.

The next day, Sunday, was my actual birthday.  Unfortunately I didn’t get enough sleep on Saturday night, which meant I was falling asleep in 8:30 Church.  I didn’t want to do that, because one, I hate falling asleep in church, and two, the lessons and talks were fantastic.  Our high councilman and one future sister missionary in our ward (she had her call to Canada) spoke on reverence: what it means and how to develop it in our lives.  Sunday school was about the reactions to Christ’s birth (Mary, the angels, Simeon, etc.).  Relief Society was about the Sabbath day and fasting, and I was somehow able to stay awake for that third hour of church.  After church I had to get set apart in my new calling.  I am now a member of the temple committee!  I will miss my calling as Relief Society teacher very much, but of course the moment you get really good at or really attached to a calling is the moment you are pulled away from it.  But I’m excited to be on the temple committee.  I have a strong testimony of the importance of the temple and regular temple attendance.  In fact, I’ll admit that multiple times in the past I have been jealous of friends getting married almost more for the fact that they were able to make their temple covenants than that they were now married.  Of course I want to get married, but I want to make those covenants, too.  Anyway, I hope this calling will be good for me and that I will be able to contribute to the good of our ward in encouraging people to attend the temple regularly.  The blessings in one’s life from regular temple attendance are immeasurable.  Anyhow, I was set apart in my calling by the first counselor in our bishopric.  It always amazes me how strong the power of the Spirit becomes when a Priesthood holder exercises his Priesthood authority and gives a blessing.  The whole room filled with the Spirit of the Lord.  It was wonderful.  When I got home from that, I took a glorious hour and a half long nap, and then went to my sister K’s sister-in-law’s house for dinner.  They do dinner regularly with her in-law siblings, but this is the first time I took her up on her invitation for me to join.  I got to see B’s new baby—always fun.  After dinner we played Catan Histories: The Struggle for Rome, which I got for K and R for Christmas.  It was an adventure as we all tried to learn this new game, then play it.  Luckily we are all game people and caught on quickly, and I think we all liked the game very much.  

As it was late when I got home Sunday night, I slept in Monday.  Always good.  For lunch, a bunch of friends and I went to Tucanos!  It was a party of 30 and it was fabulous.  Several had never been to Tucanos, so I was pleased to introduce them to the amazingness that it is.  Most of my friends from sociology came – my cohort, some of the 2^nd year cohort, as well as my professor M – plus some people from my ward, old roommates, and other friends.  It was great.  I felt very loved =) The rest of the day was really relaxed…my roommate A and our friend M watched She’s The Man, which I kind of watched…I’m not a huge Amanda Bynes fan, nor am I really into movies like that, but it was all right.  A and I decided not to do anything else the rest of the day and just watched another movie, How To Train Your Dragon.  She hadn’t seen it because she was in Jerusalem last semester, and she loved it.  That movie really is fantastic, and it’s so quotable.  You know I love quotable movies!  I also spent some time perusing the Netflix list, because my mom and dad got me a 3 month subscription to Netflix for my birthday!  What is first on my DVD list, coming to me tomorrow?  X-men the Animated Series: Volume 1.  Of course.  I haven’t seen those since I was a kid, and I am totally stoked to watch them again.  If you are still reading this ridiculously long post and have any suggestions of movies or T.V. shows I should check out, let me know! 

Thoughts about turning 23: One, I feel old.  I feel like 23 is the first year of the mid-20s (early 20s = ages 20-22, mid 20s = ages 23-26, late 20s = 27-29), and that makes me feel a little old.  It doesn’t help that I can count on one hand the number of girls in my ward that are older than me; most are a good two years younger.  I’m even older than a lot of the guys, almost of all of which seem to have gotten back from their missions in the last six months or so.  So, I feel old.  My friend MW in Missouri told me I should get a bunch of cats, or feed birds in the park.  =P  My second thought is, I only feel old because I’m single, not dating anyone, and living in a city where a large percentage of women my age are married and already have a child or two.  One of my sisters and one of my brothers were both married by the time they were 23.  By the time my Mom was 23, she had a son.  If I were to get out of this area—which I intend to do as soon as I get my Master’s Degree—then it will be perfectly normal if I am still single by that time.  Thought number three, unrelated to the first two but the most important of the three: I have now officially been a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for fifteen years!  I’m looking forward to another fifteen, then another fifteen, then another, so on for forever, and I’m excited for every minute of it.

A Violent Affair for a Dream Girl to Remember

I recently viewed the film "Dream Girls".  I had never seen it before, and I enjoyed it very much (thanks for bringing it over, M!).  Jennifer Hudson has a killer voice!  The main characters in the film struggle through difficult life trials, but redemption comes in the end to alleviate their suffering.  If any of you have not seen this film, I recommend it as an inspirational movie with meaning and heart, not to mention that it has fabulous music/singing/clothes.

But recommending this movie is not my intent in writing today.  Rather, I noticed something about myself while I was watching it.  I realized that the whole movie I kept expecting someone (particularly the individual who had control/anger issues) to lose it and start shooting up the place.  And I mean that in respect to guns, not drugs.  There were multiple times when I would tense up during an emotional or dramatic scene because I was afraid he was going to kill her or something.  Spoiler: This never happened.

Similarly, I recently saw for the first time the film "An Affair to Remember".  I didn't know much about this one before I saw it.  During the movie, something goes wrong that prevents one of the lovers from meeting the other at their arranged destination.  The one who went there and waited fruitlessly was so broken-hearted that it seemed this individual would commit suicide by jumping off a building.  Several times during the movie, I expected this to happen.  Second Spoiler: It never did.

Now, "Dream Girls" is not an action movie.  It was not intended as one, and I knew that before I saw it.  "An Affair to Remember" is not an action movie either.  It was intended as a romance, not action or tragedy.  So why did I expect these things to happen?  Why did I expect so much violence?  I have realized that these expectations come up when I watch other movies as well, and far more often than not there IS the expected violent act or scene that results in serious injury or usually death.  Why does it have to be there?  Why do so many more movies have violence, blood and gore in them nowadays than fifty years ago?  Yes, times have changed.  Media in general has become more violent, more crude, more sex-obsessed, etc.  But why does that need to be the case?!  I know I am beating a dead horse here, but really.  It makes me sad that "good movies"--the ones that people go see multiple times--have to have someone die or someone almost die and someone battle multiple someone else's.  It makes me even more sad to realize that along with the rest of society, I have gotten to the point where I expect that out of movies, too.  Hopefully I can change that.  Does anyone have a ton of old movies I could watch?  Maybe that would help.  =)