Sunday, July 10, 2011

More than kisses, letters mingle souls; for thus friends absent speak

(Title quote: John Donne)

Getting the mail used to be exciting; you'd open the mailbox and your heart would skip a beat as you pulled out a letter, personally addressed to you. "And none will hear the postman's knock without a quickening of the heart. For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?" (W.H. Auden). Now when I open the mailbox, I find only ads and bills and credit card offers and magazines I don't want and never subscribed to. At least half of them are addressed to former residents of my apartment "or current resident", which is even more annoying. Except for the bills, it's like my mailbox is full of spam emails. Sometimes I wish I could have the mailman filter my mail like I can on gmail, so that ads, credit card offers, magazines, things addressed to other people, etc are automatically deleted and I don't even have to look at them. Of course, I could just keep moving as I have every 8 months or so since I came to college. Whenever I move I stop receiving mail for a while until the credit card companies find me again (they're getting quicker and quicker at finding me, too). But then I don't receive any mail at all, and it's almost better to receive only credit card offers than no mail at all because at least somebody is sending me something. Do you remember getting personal letters in the mailbox?

I miss good old-fashioned letter writing. I'm not talking about parchment with quill and ink and wax seal here, though if I had sealing wax I would use it for everything from post-it notes to letters to papers I turn in for school. Rather, I miss writing a letter on a piece of paper, sticking it in an envelope with a stamp on it, and dropping it off in the mail box to be sent to a friend. "To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart" (Phyllis Theroux). And I miss receiving personal handwritten letters in the mail. Am I alone here? 

There is nothing like getting a handwritten letter. "A letter is a blessing, a great and all-too-rare privilege that can turn a private moment into an exalted experience" (Alexandra Stoddard). There's something very personal about taking the time to write on paper and mail a letter snail mail rather than typing out an email. To make a typed email seem personal you have to talk about personal things, and to really achieve that intimate connection you have to talk about serious, personal issues. But you can write a letter by hand, sharing nothing more intimate than "life is good", and it feels just as personal. Of course, that is not usually how it happens. Usually a handwritten letter contains that personal conversation that we all crave and love, while emails are impersonal, short and to the point. No one wants to read a long email, but everyone wants to read a long letter. 

I understand that email is free and handwritten letters cost 44 cents apiece. That does add up if you want to write on a regular basis. Even so, is it worth the cost? Most of our correspondence has become bland, strictly business, lacking emotional content and personality. Is it worth it? In an email you can only write words and sometimes attach picture or other files for the recipient. In a letter, you can enclose anything you wish, so long as it fits in the envelope. You can press a flower into a book and send it to a person with a letter; no virtual flower brings such a smile. I miss the personality, the warmth and personal nature of letter writing.

"In a man's letters, you know, Madam, his soul lies naked, his letters are only the mirror of his breast, whatever passes within him is shown undisguised in its natural process. Nothing is inverted, nothing distorted, you see systems in their elements, you discover actions in their motives" (Samuel Johnson).

3 comments:

  1. Brianne,
    I could not agree more! I was very diligent in writing my Great Grandmother and when she passed this past year it really sunk in how much I will/do miss writing and receiving letters. She was the type to always include a hand written page with all of the cards I received. There is just something very special about reading handwriting off of a paper in your hands. I also think a letter allows me to hear the person's voice as I read it and that just doesn't happen when staring at a computer screen. I guess I need to start writing letters again! I just wish I could still write to my Great Grandma.

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  2. You and Dest are so articulate, and touched me deeply. I miss letters too--it may seem old-fashioned, but I still have our love letters from the year of our engagement. Do those even happen anymore? And Dest, you reminded me of my own grandparents' letters. Sigh. I do miss that. Perhaps you should put sealing wax on your Christmas list, Brianne.

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  3. I gotta say, as hard and sometimes even annoying as it was to write all my letters on P-day, that was one of my favorite parts about my mission. I could send little momentos along with my letters, and I really enjoyed getting actual letters, too. I'll write you letters, Bri, if you want me to. Could be fun.

    Oh, and Mom, Cody and I don't have love letters from the year of our engagement, but we did used to email each other throughout the day when we both worked full-time (back before Joshua was born). They're all sappy and cutesy, too. Yay.

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