Musical Bri!

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Here and Now

It has been a LONG time...but rather than overwhelm or bore potential readers, I'll very quickly bring you up to snuff on the here and now.

Location: back in California, indefinitely

Status: Married!! Quite happily!! Just this year =) 

Work: Music teacher, composer/arranger, and writer

Elaboration: After some failed parent-attempts at matchmaking over the course of a few years, my now-husband asked me out on a date in fall of 2013. He lived in California while I lived in Utah, so I couldn't go out with him until I came to visit for the holidays. After a few months we started talking more and more, and by summer 2014 I knew I had to move to California to really date this guy. He proposed at Newport Beach in September, and we were married this last spring. After a wonderful dream honeymoon aboard the Disney Dream cruise to the Caribbean, we settled into our new home and have started our life together. 

A lot has changed over the last few years, and I'm really happy with how life is turning out. My husband is the absolute best man in the world, my perfect match, and I couldn't have picked a better one. I love him with all my heart and am excited to experience life together with him.

An Essay on Fasting

Almost exactly a year ago I was in a car, moving back to Utah. I wasn't sure what it'd be like this time, what kind of housing I'd find, whether I'd be able to find work, if the dating life would be any better, what my ward would be like, what any of it would be like as a non-student back in Studentville. It was only a few months after I'd left it "for good" and yet there I was, moving back for a new adventure and a great potential life opportunity. Nothing was solid about it except for my intended roommate J. Clearly, I was pretty anxious about it all; I spent a lot of time in prayer, asking the Lord to help me know why I was here, to help me find out where I was going, to sustain me in the 0 degree weather which my recently re-acclimatized Californian body wasn't used to, to find housing -- which, in the LDS culture, affects not only how you're living but can largely affect your social life and your spiritual nourishment because where you live tells you where you'll be going to church and what ward you'll be in...So after some pondering and talking with J, we decided to fast together about finding the right place to live.

I've always known that fasting is important. I seem to remember my parents telling us that when we were 8 years old and could be baptized, we were also old enough to learn how to fast. My first experience with fasting was on the Fast Sunday right before my 8th birthday -- I wanted to try it one month early, since the rule was that I'd have to do it the next month anyway. And I got SO sick...I was lying on the couch, miserable, throwing up repeatedly (even though there wasn't really anything in my stomach), listless, in pain, wanting to fast but knowing my body absolutely hated it...not that anyone's body loves fasting, but still. I was sick enough that my parents even agreed to cut the 24-hour fast a bit short to give my body back some much-needed nutrients. My siblings certainly didn't complain about the early dinner. But the point is, the Lord blessed me greatly for fasting that Sunday. I had that one horrible experience with my first attempt at fasting -- perhaps the devil's attempt to convince me that fasting won't work for me -- and then the next month, and the next month, and the next month, and so on, it was far more doable and I never got sick. Sure, I was hungry, and more frequently than not I completely forgot to have a purpose for my fast. I don't think that we ever entirely forgot to fast on Fast Sunday (my family's always been good at scheduling and dates and such), but sometimes I did have a hard time making it all the way through the 24 hours until dinnertime. And when I moved out and had roommates who were used to eating right after church on Fast Sunday (even when Church was from 9-noon), I sometimes failed to keep to the two-meal fast I'd been taught to do. Still, the Lord blessed me for my meager efforts.

When J and I fasted that first Sunday last January about where to live, the Lord blessed us immediately and abundantly. Within two days, He led us to the perfect place: the Hobbit Hole, as we call it. It's a wonderful blend of comfort and joy and fantastic landlords and full furnishings...and an amazing ward. We were blessed to be in a ward with all kinds of excellent people and the most incredible bishopric. Our bishop is one of the best of men, one of the most aware, genuinely caring, intelligent, knowledge-hungry, generous and selfless people I've ever known. I know that J and I needed him at this time in our lives. And as the ward has changed and new people have moved in, I've been blessed time and time again by their friendships, by their examples and influence and their beautiful spirits.

At that time in my life, a lesson needed to be learned or reemphasized. Heavenly Father knew what I needed, and sure, I'd prayed fervently to be led to the right place to live. Yet sometimes, "this kind goeth not out but by prayer AND fasting." (Matthew 17:21) God has promised us that if we ask in faith, He will answer. I'm sure He would have helped me find a place to live even if I'd prayed only, and maybe it would have been the Hobbit Hole. But how much greater are the blessings of those who truly seek them out through both prayer and fasting? In showing the Lord that you are willing to deny yourself of even the basic needs of the flesh to have food and drink, all for the sake of a greater desire and need, your sacrifice becomes acceptable to Him and He will bless you an hundredfold with more than you could have imagined.

Our church has scheduled a regular church-wide fast on the first Sunday of each month since December 1896. Some of us can barely manage the once a month fast, but fasting the bare minimum is not really enough to make us into the Saints we profess to be. My good bishop told us a few months ago that he's decided to fast once a week for the rest of his life. He shared with us that as he tried this experiment of a weekly fast, he found multiple blessings come into his life -- he was far stronger in resisting the devil, more able to accomplish his goals and tasks, better able to serve, and plenty more, including the fact that he continued to be strong and healthy despite denying himself food and drink for two consecutive meals once a week.

On remembering this, I decided to fast today because I know I haven't been keeping myself as spiritually nourished as I ought. In fact, Heavenly Father and I had a chat about that earlier this week and I had some serious apologizing to do...but I've done it and I've recommitted myself =) So today I decided to fast that I'd be able to draw closer to Him and, no surprise, it has already worked. My church meetings abounded with spiritual promptings and feelings and revelations, ways I can serve better, knowledge that the Lord is there always by my side and wanting to help me be the best that I can. I received spiritual confirmation that He truly wants to help me gain my fondest dream and that He is always there. I was more touched by the messages shared in a family ward full of strangers with lots of noisy children than I tend to be in my own ward full of young single adults, because I allowed myself to be closer to the Spirit through fasting.

Just look at some of the additional blessings of fasting, as listed in Hymn #139:
1. In fasting we approach thee here
And pray thy Spirit from above
Will cleanse our hearts, cast out our fear,
And fill our hunger with thy love.
2. Thru this small sacrifice, may we
Recall that strength and life each day
Are sacred blessings sent from thee--
Fill us with gratitude, we pray.
3. And may our fast fill us with care
For all thy children now in need.
May we from our abundance share,
Thy sheep to bless, thy lambs to feed.
4. This fast, dear Father, sanctify--
Our faith and trust in thee increase.
As we commune and testify,
May we be filled with joy and peace.
Text: Paul L. Anderson, b. 1946. (c) 1981 Paul L. Anderson and Lynn R. Carson.
Music: Clay Christiansen, b. 1949. (c) 1985 IRI

Look at some of those blessings promised in the scriptures:
Joy and rejoicing: “And on this day thou shalt do none other thing, only let thy food be prepared with singleness of heart that thy fasting may be perfect, or, in other words, that thy joy may be full. Verily, this is fasting and prayer, or in other words, rejoicing and prayer.” (D&C 59:13–14.)
For miracles and for the direct benefit of others: “And it came to pass after they had fasted and prayed for the space of two days and two nights, the limbs of Alma received their strength, and he stood up and began to speak unto them...” (Mosiah 27:23)
For knowledge and testimony strength: “I have fasted and prayed many days that I might know these things of myself. And now I do know of myself that they are true; for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit.” (Alma 5:46)
Humility, firmness of faith, joy, consolation, purity and sanctification of heart: “Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God.” (Helaman 3:35)
Glory of the Lord, righteousness, and answers from God: “Then shall thy light break forth as the morning, and thine health shall spring forth speedily: and thy righteousness shall go before thee; the glory of the Lord shall be thy reward. Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am.” (Isaiah 58:8–9).
Spirit of prophecy and revelation: “They had given themselves to much prayer, and fasting; therefore they had the spirit of prophecy, and the spirit of revelation.” (Alma 17:3).

In the past year I've had multiple experiences that have significantly strengthened my testimony of fasting, including my experience today. And I'm strongly considering making it one of my New Year's Resolutions to fast weekly. Though sometimes fasting is quite difficult for my weak body, I have faith that the Lord will help me fast in my weakness and bless me for my efforts. I know this is important to Him and that it will make a significant, positive change in my life. And I, for one, am all in favor of positive changes.

A prayerful hymn for holiness

In Church today, we sang "More Holiness Give Me". It reminded me of how a few years back, I wrote an entry elaborating on the meaning of that hymn. Though I am long overdue for a fresh, new entry, I feel it is a good time to remind myself and anyone who may be reading of the significance of this hymn. Begging the forgiveness of those of you who would rather I not simply repost previous entries.

------------

Philip Bliss wrote the words and music to a beautiful hymn about 150 years ago.  That hymn is called "More Holiness Give Me".  Too often I think that when we sing it, we just sing "more ----------, more -----------" without thinking about what it is we are saying.  These are my thoughts about the hymn.

As a whole, this is a prayer.  This hymn is a very personal pleading between me and my Father in Heaven.  When I sing these words, I am pleading with Him to change my nature so that I can become more like Him.  Therefore, I ask for more of those qualities that are pure and Godlike.  "More" is not just a repeated word, but demonstrates an increasingly greater desire for Divine aid.

I think I will "translate" the words to this hymn.  The words on the left reflect the actual text of the hymn, and the words on the right reflect my understanding of them and my ponderings.

More holiness give me                                           Father in Heaven, please give me

                                                                                sanctity and purity of heart.

More strivings within                                             Please bring Thy Spirit here so that

                                                                                I may feel it in my heart, and 

                                                                                have a greater desire to do good

                                                                                and serve Thee.

More patience in suff'ring                                      Help me not to complain so much, 

                                                                                to remember that trials are

                                                                                necessary for me to progress  

                                                                                and to receive blessings.

More sorrow for sin                                             Give me a sensitive heart that feels 

                                                                                pain for the sins I commit so  

                                                                                that I may repent and return to 

                                                                                Thee. Also help me to feel pain 

                                                                                for the sins of others instead of 

                                                                                disregarding them as "their 

                                                                                choice".

More faith in my Savior                                        Strengthen my testimony of Thy 

                                                                                Son's infinite Atonement for my

                                                                                sins.

More sense of His care                                         Help me be more aware of my 

                                                                                Savior's everlasting care and

                                                                                desire for my eternal joy.

More joy in His service                                         Help me to find happiness in 

                                                                                serving the Lord.

More purpose in prayer.                                       Help me remember that prayers 

                                                                                are not just words spoken

                                                                                aloud, but a means for me to

                                                                                counsel with Thee, for me to 

                                                                                come to Thee just as I might

                                                                                come to my earthly father for 

                                                                                guidance.

More gratitude give me                                         Father, please help me to be more

                                                                                appreciative of the countless 

                                                                                blessings Thou hast given me

                                                                                and do continuously give me.

More trust in the Lord                                          Remind me of Who is in control, for

                                                                                Thou knowest all things.

More pride in His glory                                         Strengthen me so that I am bold in 

                                                                                my adoration of Thy Son, that I 

                                                                                may shout His glory from the 

                                                                                rooftops.

More hope in His word                                        Along with faith, give me hope in the 

                                                                                scriptures and the words of the

                                                                                prophets, which promise eternal

                                                                                blessings if we are faithful.

More tears for His sorrows                                   Help me to feel more sorrow for His 

                                                                                sorrow, to feel more sorrow for 

                                                                                all the sins of the world and the 

                                                                                wickedness that He Atoned for

                                                                                in Gethsemane.

More pain at His grief                                           Allow me to feel even a portion of 

                                                                                the pain He feels for those who 

                                                                                will not turn to Him.

More meekness in trial                                          Help me to be humble and 

                                                                                submissive in my trials so that

                                                                                I may endure them well.

More praise for relief.                                           Give me more gratitude when my 

                                                                                burdens are lifted, and help me

                                                                                to remember Who is the reason

                                                                                for such great blessings.  Help

                                                                                me to share that blessing with

                                                                                others and praise Thy Name 

                                                                                all day long.

More purity give me                                             Father, make me pure and holy, 

                                                                                that I may see Thee.

More strength to o'ercome                                    Give me fortitude against the

                                                                                draining power of tribulations,

                                                                                and help me to endure well, 

                                                                                that my spirit may be

                                                                                strengthened through it.

More freedom from earth stains                            Free me from the thorns of the flesh,

                                                                                those sins that would chain me 

                                                                                for all eternity.  Help me to

                                                                                resist temptation where neces-

                                                                                sary and avoid temptation

                                                                                where possible, that I may be 

                                                                                free and worthy to worship 

                                                                                Thee.

More longing for home                                         Help me to not forget that I was once

                                                                                at Thy feet, that I am only on

                                                                                earth for a small period of time

                                                                                to be tested.  Help me to

                                                                                remember that heavenly home

                                                                                and have an ever greater desire 

                                                                                and longing to return to it.

More fit for the kingdom                                       Mold me so that I become an 

                                                                                instrument in Thy hands, that I

                                                                                may be able to accomplish Thy

                                                                                will for the kingdom of heaven.

More used would I be                                          If I can be molded into whatever Thou

                                                                                wouldst have me be, may I be

                                                                                 used in whatever calling or 

                                                                                service Thou might require, and 

                                                                                as such I would be able, 

                                                                                available, and eager to serve.

More blessed and holy                                         I ask Thee again to please give me

                                                                                a pure heart and a spirit of 

                                                                                holiness

More, Savior, like Thee.                                      So that above all, I may become as 

                                                                                Thou art.

                                                                           I ask for these blessings with faith

                                                                                to receive them, in the sacred

                                                                                Name of my Lord and Savior, 

                                                                                Jesus Christ.  Amen.

The Value of Mothers

I have noticed an interesting trend in the world. Granted, while I work from home, I live in Utah, and most of my contact with the "outside world" is through the internet, I can't say this is a "random sample" from which I have drawn my observation. However, having studied the people of this world at length and being the sociologist that I am, I will apply my observation and understanding of this trend to the general population. I believe it is accurately representative.

Today is Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day to all you wonderful mothers! Whether that is biologically true or practically true or socially true according to your situation and desires, you deserve honor and celebration this day and all days. Motherhood is one of the most honorable and desirable professions because being a mother is a godly calling. "Motherhood is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels" (In James R. Clark, comp., Messages of the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Vol 6: pg 178).

The interesting trend I have noticed is that people still care about mothers.

It is rather sad that I feel I have to draw attention to something that, frankly, should be seen as "duh". But what has happened to the family over the years? What has society been doing to the family? The definition of family has been altered and changed drastically merely in the last ten or fifteen years, though there was plenty of evidence to foreshadow that in the decades beforehand. Marriage is under attack. Divorce is rampant. Divorce rates are technically lower now than they were in the 1980s when they reached their highest peak, but not by much. And with the marriage rate falling as well, this shows even more how little we as a people value the institutions of marriage and family. Abortion rates are frightening. Birth rates are low. Single parenting is commonplace. The prophets have taught us that "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity." Yet approximately half of all children are born out of wedlock and have no chance to experience family life as God intended.

(Please bear in mind that I am sharing these statistics from my memory of my academic study in sociology over the last several years, which is why I do not quote studies specifically as reference. If you are disinclined to believe any of them, please ask me and I would be more than happy to confirm them with reliable sources of data.)

What has happened to the family? Societal evidence shows that it is literally falling apart. And yet, people continue to celebrate mothers and motherhood.

On this Mother's Day, I have observed an outpouring of Facebook statuses, blog posts, quotes, phone calls, and more, all honoring mothers. What intrigues me about this is that I have observed a greater appreciation for mothers on Mother's Day through these means than I have seen for any other holiday of late. This includes such holidays as Easter and Christmas. Considering to the commitments and attentions of the circle of people in my little corner of the world, I believe this is more than merely a manifestation of religious preference and the holidays one chooses to observe. And with the prevalence of electronic devices and ease of updating a status from wherever you are, I also believe it is more than a matter of having time or access to post something online. From what I have seen today, people are literally putting more focus today on celebrating their mothers than on any other holiday or reason for celebrating it, including even those holidays dedicated the Savior of the world.

Why is that?

I believe that the answer is simple: because there are some eternal truths that cannot be ignored. Mothers are given the task of raising precious souls in this increasingly dreadful and wicked world, to bring light and hope into their lives so that they can go out into that world and strive with all their might to make it a better place for their own children one day. Abraham Lincoln is quoted to have said, "All that I am and hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." Mothers touch our hearts in ways that cannot be ignored or unappreciated. The sacrifices that mothers give for their children cannot even be described. The love they have for their children cannot be measured. Motherhood is so powerful that the impact mothers have on our lives cannot even be put into words. And the world knows this. People can choose to ignore any and all the evidence of a loving Heavenly Father, a God who has given them all things, merely because they can't see Him. But they can see their mothers, and they can't ignore them.

No matter how sick the world gets, no matter how much the devil attacks God and the family, mothers cannot be forgotten. Their influence is too monumental, too widespread, too tangibly visible to ignore. And because of that, I believe there is hope for this world. Often of late, I have felt sickened by the evils proliferating in this world like a deadly pandemic from which there is no protection. I wonder how people can do the things they do, rationalize what they rationalize, ignore what they ignore, and neglect what they neglect. After all that God has done for us, how can we forget Him so quickly? How can we forget the One who created us? But as the Lord's prophet Thomas S. Monson has taught us, "One cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one."

Despite the other disturbing trends we find in the world today, this rings true. The godly traits of motherhood resonate within our hearts and within our souls. We know of the goodness of mothers, and their constant selflessness, sacrifice, virtue, and love compels us to honor them. And seeing how we honor our mothers on this day, I feel more at peace. There is still much that needs to be done for good in this world, but I am well pleased to observe the dedication of this people to their mothers because it means that despite their claims, they have not forgotten their God. Motherhood is near to divinity. The Lord does not leave us without types in this world -- He has filled it with symbols and signs so that the believers might recognize Him in all things, and mothers are perhaps the greatest symbol of God that we have in this world. While we have fallen far, there is still hope for humanity. I am grateful that we still recognize the value of mothers. 

New Beginnings and Blessings in Utah

Ahh, Provo. It's surprisingly good to be back. I moved back right after Christmas and moved into K and R's place. It wasn't exactly fun at first...I was alone in their house while they were out of town for the holidays, and the temperature hovered around 0 degrees Fahrenheit the entire first week I was there (even in the "heat" of the day). It wasn't THAT bad to deal with, though the cold and terrible air quality made me sick and didn't want to let me breathe. But soon after coming up here, the Lord blessed me greatly. J and I found the perfect place to live! Our Hobbit Hole (perfectly named) is in the basement of a house. The landlord is fabulous; she has provided all the furnishings (including a queen bed for J!) and dishes, and she pays for most of the amenities, including internet for our work. It's really a perfect situation. Our LDS young single adult ward also seems like it will be really good, with a wide range of ages, lots of guys (most of my wards in Provo had an overabundance of girls, so this is a nice change), and a great bishop. Work with my SEO job is continuing as usual with some added blessings. We've gotten a few new clients lately, and one of our clients is absolutely loving the work I produce. That's always nice to hear! I'm also grateful for the new friendships I'm forming, one in particular and others that I'm sure will come as I get to know the people in my ward. The Lord has been so good to me lately! A good place to live, good roommate and friend to live with, good family nearby that are always generous and fun, good friends, good work, good ward...life is good! I'm filled with gratitude for how the Lord has blessed my life. I am excited to see what is in store as my new life continues here. New beginnings! It will be awesome! Kronk out. 

Life Happenings: A Musical Future?

*Note: There are a lot of links to previous blogposts of mine in this post. Feel free to ignore them if you wish, but if you really want to know what's happening in my life and where my heart is, please refresh your memory of or read for the first time the posts I link to. Thanks!

Some of you have never read this blog of mine before. Others have been my readers since the beginning or have come in along the way. Regardless, those of you who know me know my interest in music. I talk about it a lot on this blog...recall some of my previous posts, such as:

Playing air piano
The music is all around you. All you have to do is listen.
A Murder for Her Majesty
The Life of a Failed Musician-turned-Sociologist

...and plenty more. It is a big part of my life. But til now, I haven't been able to turn my music into a career by which I can support myself and possibly others. My last post was about how I was looking for work and was stressed about my financial future. I mentioned looking for a job in the field of sociology, which I've searched for and had no luck finding. I have also considered writing or teaching writing/English. But most of all, I want a job in music and said that "virtually any music job opportunity would bring me joy."

You may wonder, what has happened with the job search? Nothing that I expected, that's for sure. So many interesting things have happened in the past few months, and I know that those of you who are truly interested in the goings-on in my life either already know about them or will ask me for more details. For the rest of you, I'll kindly summarize. Recently, I made a new friend who graciously granted me the opportunity of working with her, doing SEO writing. It is a job I can do from anywhere and I am so grateful to have it. We have been told by several of our employers that our writing is high in quality and that they think of us first when they need a project done, which is always good news to hear as writers. I thank the Lord and my good friend J for this opportunity to help make ends meet at this complicated time in my life.

In addition, this friend of mine through the Hand of the Lord has granted me another opportunity: to become involved in a grand musical project. Right now there is no income to be had from said project, but if we are able to find the right resources and if we do our best to make things happen, I believe God will allow this to become a positive and profitable experience in many ways for those involved. I have become highly invested in this project, in part due to the hope for a future income in this field but more for the fact that it allows me to do what I truly love. I am so grateful that the Lord has allowed me to become involved in something I love. Sociology was always something I was good at, and it will continue to be a resource for me. If a good sociology job opportunity comes along, I may take it. But sociology was never a love of mine like music is. So for now, I will pursue this musical path I have chosen. I have been able to discover the true meaning of the phrase, "Get a job doing something you love and you'll never work a day in your life." This rarely feels like work to me. Of course it's not a paid job yet, but I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to generate an income as part of a force that will edify and strengthen others through music and other good sources, such as writing, media, etc. Perhaps this project is the beginning of that opportunity for me in my life.

As part of this step in life, I have to relocate back to Utah Valley, and soon. I once wrote that "Utah Valley has been pretty good to me, but I don't feel that it holds anything for me as far as my future goes. So I am looking elsewhere [for where to go in life]." Though I have very mixed feelings on returning to Utah given my mixed experiences there over the past 6 years, apparently I need to give Utah Valley one more chance. Perhaps this time as a non-student, living in the Provo area will grant me a different experience. Maybe I will have a better social and dating life. Who knows? I'll have to see what happens when I get back there. Most of all, I'm very concerned about how I will survive financially when I get there. With student loan payments coming soon, rent payments, probably car insurance and car payments, and normal costs of living, I'm definitely going to struggle. If at all possible I'd like to at least break even every month with the money I make from my SEO job and the bills I have to pay, but I'm not sure if I will be able to. I'll have to rely heavily on the Lord for His grace to sustain me. Gotta have the faith and don't stop believin'!

This entry has been long, but yes, that was me summarizing what's been happening in my life. The real story is much more detailed and involves not only J but also KD and A and others.

Music is so much a part of me that I can't ignore it. Music flows from my fingers, it consumes my mind, it roams unchecked from my vocal chords, it is the very air I breathe and the energy that allows me to move. It is here in my heart, and I am listening to it.  I know that music must be a part of my life, and I want it to be. Therefore, I will allow it to direct me into uncharted life territories so that together, music and I can make the most of life. In faith, I know that the Lord will not leave me comfortless or stranded but He will mold me into an instrument in His Hands so that I may contribute good to this world through the talents, gifts, and resources He has given me. I pray that He continues to guide me and all of you in our journeys and that we can always see His Hand leading us to where we need to be.

Looking for work

So, uh, hi everyone. It's been two full months since my last update and, well, some things have definitely happened since then. In July we had an awesome family reunion for all descendants of my parents, which right now is 19 people including spouses and grandchildren. It was our first one for just our family and it was wonderful. I wish we could all live in closer proximity to each other so we could spend more time together. Shortly after that I graduated -- I officially finished my Master's degree (still haven't received the diploma in the mail, but I'm sure that'll come soon)! My parents came up for that and we all celebrated. Then I left Utah to come live in CA with them until I find a job. I was very sad to leave my two sisters and their families behind in Utah, but it was time for me to live somewhere else. So here I am, back at home with my parents and looking for work. Do any of my dear readers have suggestions for me on where to look? I'm hoping for a position as a research analyst of sorts, researching family structure, family relationships, child development, or any number of other people-related subjects. I'd also like to teach sociology or even writing/English. Most of all, as I'm sure you know, I would love to do something music-related -- teaching, composing, arranging, etc. Virtually any music job opportunity would bring me joy. Of course, I'm struggling with figuring out the whole "real adult life" thing -- having a real job with a salary, 401k and other benefit stuffs, figuring out insurance, paying back student loans, having to buy a car and car insurance, finding a good place to live, purchasing necessary furniture/appliances for said residence, dealing with meager savings and dwindling funds...you know, the fun stuff. Yay. But it would all definitely be easier if I had a job...so if you have any suggestions, please let me know. Particularly if you have any connections to research or music positions. Thank you!

I apologize once again for the boring-ness of the life update, but my life isn't terribly interesting right now anyway. Perhaps soon I will have more interesting things to say. 

Party Rockin' in the Summer

It's been a busy, busy summer!

First things first: THESIS = DONE! I finally defended it on June 11th and passed with a few revisions, which I completed and submitted not long afterward. Exciting! I celebrated with friends and family at the local Olive Garden and Coldstone. =) Now I'm done with my Master's Degree. :-o But I'm still trying to figure out what to do next (recall my previous blogpost)...any suggestions?

This last weekend my sister K, her daughter M, and I went down to my friend D's wedding and my cousin W's wedding receptions in southern California. We drove down Thursday and came back on Tuesday. I was a little apprehensive about the drive with my 15-month-old niece, but she was very good! Our sister C lent us her portable DVD player, which helped immensely. The wedding and wedding dinner/reception (delicious salmon!) for D were beautiful. I decided to give her a long-requested gift (D, if you haven't opened it yet you'll find out soon enough anyway) of a CD of myself playing the piano. 9 years ago for her high school graduation, she requested that I record myself playing Jon Schmidt's "Waterfall" on the piano for her, but I never did it...at first it was that I didn't really have a way to record it, then I hadn't played it for a few years and wasn't as good at it anymore, and then it was just left alone. But when her wedding date started to draw nearer I remembered how I had never done that and decided that I wanted to make it happen for her wedding. I recorded a whole CD for her, with "Waterfall" and 9 other tracks of me playing the piano (other pieces I like to play, one I wrote, and a few Disney kicks since she loves Disney so much). It certainly isn't perfect; I used my laptop's built-in microphone and the wonderful program Audacity to edit it, but I believe the final product would suit her original request. For my cousin W, I played their wedding song on the piano (Yurima's "River Flows In You") for their first dance. It was great to see lots of family there that I haven't seen in a while. She had an awesome set of songs for the dance party segment of the reception, including Michael Jackson, a bunch of swing stuff, "Zoot Suit Riot", and of course, it began with LMFAO's "Party Rock Anthem". When "Party Rock Anthem" came on, I really wanted to dance to it, so my aunt's 60-something-year-old fiancé whom I'd just met told me to "go dance!" I said I didn't have anyone to dance with, so he immediately jumped up and went and danced with me for that song and a couple more fun ones. It was awesome. The rest of the trip was nice to just spend playing with Mom and Dad, seeing my brother D and his family, and a few friends, going swimming in my parents' pool, enjoying the beautiful California summer, and of course eating at some of our favorite restaurants from home that we miss.

Then, of course, yesterday was the Fourth of July. Happy Independence Day, everyone! My roommate T and I went to hang out with my sisters' families and our friend C, which involved the traditional games, barbecue, and fireworks. The latter may or may not have involved the purchasing of many, many fireworks ("emits showers of sparks!") with your standard sparklers, ground blooms, smoke balls, black cats (ouch, those hurt your ears!), and other more intense fountains and aerials with names such as "Spirit of Missouri" (C is from Missouri), "Magic Cube Fountain", "Blazing Rebel", "Devil's Delight", etc., and ending with "Full Metal Jacket 2". It was quite the display. My poor 4-year-old nephew had a great time but was completely exhausted when he finally went to bed 2 hours later than normal. Then we had to brave the horrendous post Stadium of Fire traffic to get back down to Provo. But it was worth it for a good holiday celebration with great people. God bless America!

In a few weeks we will have our first Burr family reunion with all the descendants of my parents! That means 2 parents, 5 kids, 4 spouses, and 8 grandchildren for a total of 19 people. It will be a lot of fun. Yay, family!

And it's raining today! I love the rain.

Life is good, if you couldn't tell from what I post here. I just need to figure out where to go next. I still feel like I should leave this general area, though I will definitely miss my sisters and their families. Utah Valley has been pretty good to me, but I don't feel that it holds anything for me as far as my future goes. So I am looking elsewhere. If you have any suggestions, again, I welcome them. Thanks for reading!

Update, shmupdate...life as I know it

After not writing for weeks and weeks..."It is time." (read in the way Rafiki says it as he realizes that Simba is still alive and is the rightful king)

These past weeks/months I've spent mostly working on my thesis, which is now just about done! My defense is scheduled and is in about 2 weeks, so I've just got to figure all that out, prepare my defense presentation, format the paper correctly...I meant to work on the format today, but of course the BYU website isn't working, so I can't look at the form requirements. Ah, well. Then I make any last minute changes, and then I will be finished with my Master's degree. Crazy! Well, not crazy, because I've put in the work necessary for it. Just a little "whoa!" because it's finally happening. Here's to hoping all goes well at the defense.

Last week I got to go visit my brother K and his family, which was really fun. K and S took their youngest daughter on a trip for four days while I took care of their other two children, D and A. D is old enough that he was in school, but A was still at home. She and I played lots of Pretty Pretty Princess and Candyland, watched movies, colored pictures, and more. D showed off his great piano-playing skills (he's going to be really good at it!), and we played more games and what not together. When K and S got back with their daughter K, I got to see how great K is at walking and how sweet she is when she talks (she says "peeeease???" or "please" in the cutest voice when she wants something). I'm very proud of all three of them. It was a good trip.

My other niece, S, turned 6 on Saturday...I missed it because she lives in another state, but I think it's so great that she chose to go to an art museum on her birthday. (What 5- turning 6-year-old wants to do that? She's awesome.) I have so many nieces and nephews (eight with one more on the way!) and I love them all very much. I wish I could see them all regularly, but with my four siblings living in three different states, it is difficult. As it is, I still get to spend a good amount of time with my sisters and their children, since they live close by. We do dinner together every Sunday and it is great to spend time with them. I'm going to miss them when I move away.

That brings me to my next "update"...which isn't really an update at all but more a report of my current state of being. This current state of being is that I have no idea what to do in a couple months. I will be done with school and for the first time in my life, I have no plans. When I graduated high school I applied to a few different schools but knew that if I got into BYU, I wanted to go there to study music. I got in and I came to BYU, but then I auditioned three times for the music program and couldn't seem to get in. I considered going to a different university for music, but felt that the Lord wanted me to stay at BYU, so I pursued a different field of study. Then when I was finishing my Bachelor's in sociology, I decided that an MS in sociology would help me get a better job than having just the BS, so I went for that degree. Now I'm finishing that and am wide open. I could always go for a PhD, but I think I'm really ready for a break from school. I never wanted a PhD, but I wouldn't say no to it; it's just not something I want to do right now. So now I'm trying to figure out, where do I go from here? There are so many career paths a person with an MS in sociology could pursue and I'm really not sure which one I want to do. As I've said before, I enjoy sociology well enough but am not passionate about it, so I do not necessarily want to fill my life with 40+ hours a week of pure sociology unless it is temporary. Ultimately, in the future I hope to be a full-time mom with a part time job in music or something sociology if necessary for financial reasons. Ideally for now I would like to get a good job with the skills I've developed through my sociology education, one with benefits that will pay well and help me pay off my student loans and save up for bigger life purchases like a car and a home. Unfortunately, I really can't picture myself very easily as a full-time data analyst, researcher, working at human resources, or in other jobs like those. I've always wanted to teach music and can easily see myself doing virtually any music career, but while I can jump right into music as long as I have a place to live and a piano with which to teach (another expensive purchase I'm not quite ready to make), starting out with music wouldn't pay me well for at least a few years. Furthermore, unless I were to work through a music company, I wouldn't have benefits. So it seems best that I procure a steady position with my skills as a sociologist so that I can pay off student loans and save up some money.

In addition to not knowing what I should do after the next few months, I don't know where I should do it. All I know is that I'm ready to leave Utah. One of the reasons I stayed here for my Master's was in hopes that I might find someone to marry. That might sound silly to some but is very normal for an LDS woman like me, now in my mid-20s with many LDS friends who are married with one or two children by the time they're my age. But of course, while many people have met their spouses in Provo, I have not. And while my dating life in Provo was certainly busy until I was 20, it has been pretty much nonexistent ever since then. My hopes of that improving over my 2-year Master's program went tragically unfulfilled. Therefore, I have determined that I should leave Utah, or at least Utah Valley, if I want to find my match. That said, I don't know where to go to find him. What's more is that I don't even know if I will find him. It's possible I won't be married for ten or fifteen years yet, or that I will never marry in this life. I certainly don't know, but of course I'm hoping that wherever I go from here will be the place where I meet him. Unfortunately, as I've been praying about it, I haven't felt any strong, clear promptings about going to a certain place, so apparently the Lord is telling me it isn't time yet or He is leaving it up to me to choose where to go. And with choosing for myself, I don't really have in mind a specific place where I would like to settle down to guide me in my search for where to live. I think I could be happy any number of places around the country. So it looks like I'm just going to have to choose something...any suggestions on where to go or what job to look for?

Well, there you have it: I am finally finishing my Master's degree, enjoying family, and trying to figure out where to go and what to do next. If you have any suggestions or advice for me, please share! Thanks for reading, and Happy Memorial Day. Remember those who have given their lives while serving our country.

I Will Stand as a Witness for Truth

I will stand tall for the gospel of Jesus Christ and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I haven't written a note in ages, and this one will not contain much of my own words. I wish to refer to the message of a song that was once very special to me. It is a song I learned as a young woman in the LDS church, and its message is one that bears repeating. As Church leaders reminded us in General Conference a week ago, we must stand for truth and righteousness, oppose evil no matter where it is found, be examples of the believers, and hold fast to eternal truths. I hope that these words will help encourage you (and me!) to do so, because no matter how significant the worldly consequences may seem, the eternal blessings will be infinitely greater. "If you have not chosen the kingdom of God first, it will in the end make no difference what you have chosen instead." (quote most commonly attributed to Elder Neal A Maxwell)

"We have been and continue to be taught God’s laws. Despite what you may see or hear elsewhere, these laws are unchanging. As we go about living from day to day, it is almost inevitable that our faith will be challenged. We may at times find ourselves surrounded by others and yet standing in the minority or even standing alone concerning what is acceptable and what is not. Do we have the moral courage to stand firm for our beliefs, even if by so doing we must stand alone?...It is essential that we are able to face—with courage—whatever challenges come our way." - President Thomas S. Monson: Prophet, Seer, Revelator, and President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I Will Stand  (Music and Lyrics by Christy Hinkson)

I'm here for a reason with differences to make

In the final season, important steps to take

But I cannot succeed here if my footsteps are not planned

I think it's time for me to take a stand

I will stand for everything good

I will stand where prophets once stood

I will stand in my youth

A witness for truth I have found

On Holy Ground, I will stand

Standing as a witness of all the truth I know

At all times and in all of the places that I go

My life has many choices and voices that divide

So I'll be standing on the Savior's side

I will stand where others may fall

I will stand and hold my head tall

I will stand in my youth

A witness for truth I have found

On Holy Ground, I will stand

I will stand all of my days

I will stand and follow His ways

I will stand in my youth

A witness for truth I have found

On Holy Ground, I will stand

Sheet music for "I Will Stand": 

http://www.heartrisemusic.com/Downloads/Sheetmusic/IWillStandSHMU/IWillStand.pdf

Mosiah 18:9 "Stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in...that ye may have eternal life."

What we Latter-day Saints believe:

http://jesuschrist.lds.org/SonOfGod/eng/his-life-and-teachings/articles/we-believe

http://mormon.org/faith/

http://mormon.org/articles-of-faith/

For more information:

http://mormon.org/

http://www.youtube.com/user/MormonMessages

Or you can ask me and I'd be happy to talk to you about what we believe.

THESIS PROSPECTUS DEFENDED.

Done and done.

Now to do the actual analysis...here's hoping all goes well!