The act of writing is an act of optimism. You would not take the trouble to do it if you felt it didn't matter. -- Edward Albee

I want to write about how much harder it is to speak than to write sometimes, but even the written words won't come for me right now. This is one of those times where if I was using paper and pen instead of a computer, I'd've spent the last hour crumpling up page after page and tossing it over my shoulder. As has been said, "Ink and paper are sometimes passionate lovers, oftentimes brother and sister, and occasionally mortal enemies" (attributed to either Terri Guillemets or Emme Woodhull-Bäche). Even so, I prefer it to speaking, for while they sometimes take their time, the words always come when I'm writing, and they usually don't when I'm speaking.

I've always been better at writing than speaking; the latter is a frustrating mess in which I struggle fruitlessly to come up with the right words at the right moment and I don't make any sense, nor do I share anything I intended to say. Once I met up with a former friend to talk about why we had parted ways; yes, we talked, but when we parted I realized I hadn't said any of the things I'd meant to say. I asked him if he would read a letter from me expressing those unsaid thoughts. I wasn't able to speak the words I wanted to speak, but they flowed comfortably from my pen.

Some say that writing is cowardly, that if you have something to say you should just say it. But "the role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say" (Anaïs Nin). There are always things I want to say, but I don't know how to say them. Those things I am most passionate about are the ones I find most difficult to express through speaking, and even sometimes through writing. Hart Crane said that "One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment." Even with my best writing I am never completely satisfied, as there are many things words simply cannot express. But when I have something I want to say, most times I prefer to write it. It is the form through which I communicate best.

The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use (Washington Irving)

Communication is a funny thing. Some people who don’t like conflict avoid communicating about problems. Some people talk all the time and others have no idea what they’re talking about (Mark Twain: "If you have nothing to say, say nothing."). Some people can only communicate in their own “language”, meaning they don’t know how to talk to other people in a way that they will understand. Some people beat around the bush and say all kinds of things before the person they’re talking finally figures out what person 1 is saying or trying to say. "The problem with communication is the illusion that it has occurred," said George Bernard Shaw. Relatively few people are effective communicators, at least where it’s important; these people know how to clearly state their thoughts and feelings, how to understand the other person’s thoughts and feelings, and how to make their conversation “go somewhere.”

I think that a large percentage of people or perhaps most people in this world have a basic understanding of how to effectively communicate. However, we don’t all know how to implement those ideas into our own relationships. Or maybe we do know how, but we don’t do it because it’s hard, it’s uncomfortable, or maybe it’s awkward. But communication is vital if we want to have strong relationships in our lives. Even with strangers or acquaintances, we want to communicate something to them. We want those relationships to mean something, even if they won’t last; that is why people in general try to get along with strangers.

Typically when writing a blogpost that you intend people to read, you communicate something. Now you know how I fail here, because since I don’t even know what I’m trying to say about communication, I can’t communicate my message on communication to you! (How’s that for confusing?) I’m mostly just musing. But, communication is something we should all work on. A lot of people feel uncomfortable around people who are very straightforward and blunt. I am usually grateful to those people because they are effective communicators. There is a point where being blunt can be construed as rudeness…and while sometimes that point of rudeness can and should be avoided, other times it is necessary to communicate a point. No, I’m not suggesting you go out and be a jerk and just tell everyone what horrible things you think of them. Just take it in stride, and know that sometimes telling someone something in tough love does more for them than sweet-talking them. Point being, communication is important and we should work on how we communicate. "Communication works for those who work at it," says John Powell. Why should we care? Because "the way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives" (Anthony Robbins).