Countdowns

TWO HOURS until December begins.

ONE WEEK AND ONE DAY until classes are over.

TWO WEEKS until I am completely done with finals, papers, and everything for this semester.

TWO WEEKS until I am home in California for the holidays, where I will get to see my parents, my brother's family, meet my new nephew, and see my friends.

THREE WEEKS or so until my sisters and their families come down for Christmas, too.

THREE AND A HALF WEEKS until Christmas, when we celebrate Our Savior's birth.

FOUR WEEKS AND ONE DAY until my other brother comes to visit.

FOUR WEEKS AND TWO DAYS until I go to the LA temple with my family.

ONE MONTH until 2012.

I was born a ramblin' (wo)man

I have no homework assignments due until next Thursday (woo hoo!). I only have a take-home exam to work on, and multiple research papers of course, but they aren't due until after that. So I said to myself, what should I do tonight? I could work on my thesis, but I probably won't get anywhere; I've had a difficult time focusing today. So I had some top ramen for dinner (good comfort food) and watched Father of the Bride, but then that ended. I read over my roommate's statement of intent for grad school, but now I'm done with that, too. Then I thought about writing a new blogpost because it's been a while. But what to write about? I thought that maybe I could talk about how school is going, or about work, but nobody really wants to read that. I don't even want to read that. I could write about how I've been doing more hardcore exercise lately to help me lose weight...there, I've written about that. Maybe I could write about my social life. Oh, wait -- I don't really have one. Hmm. I could write about church and spiritual things, but most of that stuff on my mind lately has been too personal to share on a public blog. I could write about...what? Nothing comes to mind. Maybe my brain just needs a rest. Looks like I have nothing to say, then, yet somehow I've written an entire paragraph. Go figure.

This blogpost about absolutely nothing has been brought to you by sheer exhaustion, a burgeoning headache, increasingly lower mental capacity, and possibly The Mask. Or maybe Harrison Ford. "No! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!"

Penguin out -- "...you didn't see anything..."

Life is good.

Life is good. A few things are not so good. For example, lately school has been extremely difficult and time-consuming, and I've had some significant scholastic struggles. I haven't had time to work on my thesis at all for a while. My future is a complete blank and my social life is generally lacking. Nothing is perfect, but life is good anyway. I have a good job. My apartment is great, and I have my own room. I get to see my sisters and their families all the time. I have a bed to sleep on and clothes to wear. There's food in my cupboard. I have a wonderful family, including a new nephew who I'm excited to meet in a few months. My ward is a good ward. I'm surrounded by members of the Church who have high standards as I do. I can walk to church, and there is a temple within walking distance where I can just walk in without even making an appointment to participate in ordinances on behalf of the dead. My Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ love me and are guiding me. Yes, life is good. God is good to me. =)

Update-ally excellent

I said I'd update, so here I am, updating. I decided to give you a handful of descriptions along with my status in that area (see complete list of "-ally" words if you want to answer more for yourself). Enjoy.

(Response options = Very Poor, Poor, Fair, Good, Very Good, or Excellent)

• Academically -- Very Good; staying afloat
• Accidentally -- Good; I'd like this to be Very Poor, but I am rather clumsy sometimes.
• Altruistically -- Very Good; I'm trying!
• Alphabetically -- Excellent, at least with the English alphabet
• Annually -- Excellent; my age increases by one each year
• Asthmatically -- Excellent; my asthma medication is out and I live in a place where the air is paper thin. Woot.
• Atomically -- Excellent; I am made up of atoms, as is everything.
• Behaviorally -- Excellent; my parents taught me well
• Chronically -- Excellent; my existence is chronic
• Coincidentally -- Poor; I believe my existence is not by chance, but some things may be coincidental
• Conceptually -- Very Good, but sometimes I have difficulty explaining or understanding some concepts
• Congenially -- Very Good, but I could be more friendly and sociable
• Controversially -- Very Good; especially lately, I've been attracting controversial discussions and ideas
• Conversationally -- Very Good; I can always carry on a conversation, but sometimes I lack for new ideas
• Cordially -- Very Good; I try to be heartfelt and warm in my relationships
• Corporeally -- Excellent; I've definitely got a body
• Dentally -- Fair; My teeth are okayish, but I'm well overdue for a trip to the dentist
• Detrimentally -- Poor; I try not to hurt others, but I'm human and can't control what might happen
• Diabolically -- Very Poor, as I should be
• Educationally -- Very Good; in grad school and working on my thesis
• Elliptically -- Very Poor or Good; Very Poor if you interpret it as my own physically shape or orbit, but Good if you interpret it as how I am with an elliptical machine
• Emotionally -- Very Good; I've got a few issues (who doesn't?), but am generally good
• Environmentally -- Good, but I can definitely be better. I should plant a garden or something in my nonexistent yard.
• Esoterically -- Excellent; only a small number of people with specialized interest can understand me =)
• Eternally -- Excellent; we're in one eternal round
• Etiologically -- Excellent; I'm a causal being, but I am also acted upon. Causation is present in my life.
• Expressionistically -- Excellent; People have always told me I have a very expressive face
• Fatally -- Very Poor, or I would not be writing this blogpost
• Financially -- Fair; I'm in debt from school, but I have a good job that's keeping me afloat for now
• Frenetically -- Poor; I'm rather slow these days =P must be the old age
• Gravitationally -- Fair; not much is pulled to my gravity because we're all stuck to this here Planet Earth
• Heterosexually -- Excellent; don't foresee any changes there
• Hygienically -- Very Good; I take care of myself, but I find it annoying how often we humans have to shower =P
• Individually -- Very Good; I'm still an individual, but I try to be united with those around me
• Lackadaisically -- Good; I should be Poor in this area, but human nature makes that difficult
• Legally -- Very Good; I'm not completely legal, but generally so
• Locally -- Excellent; no matter where I go, I'm local
• Logically -- Very Good, but not Excellent because as a human I'm ruled by emotion
• Maritally -- Very Poor; hopefully that changes sooner rather than later
• Medically -- Very Good; I'm relatively healthy and functioning
• Mentally -- Very Good; I have to be to do well in school
• Morally -- Excellent, at least I try to be
• Musically -- Very Good; this has been suffering lately because I don't have time for it =/
• Normally -- Fair; I fit into some norms, but not a whole lot
• Nonsensically -- Poor; I'm generally practical but occasionally absurd
• Nutritionally -- Good; I need to work on this, but I'm doing okay
• Occupationally -- Very Good; I have a good job that's secure til I graduate
• Optically -- Fair; I have lovely corrective contacts, so I can see well with them, but my vision is terrible
• Optimistically -- Very Good; I try to be positive
• Physically -- Good; see "Medically"
• Pianistically -- Very Good; I can definitely do better here, but I don't have time right now. Silly school.
• Politically -- Fair; I don't really pay attention to politics and I need to do so more
• Professionally -- Fair; I'm still in school, but working on a grad degree and then a career, so hopefully this will turn around soon!
• Socially -- Good, not Excellent; I think I need to move somewhere else
• Sociologically -- Excellent; This is what I study all day, so I better be excellent here
• Spiritually -- Very Good; I know I'm in the right place and going the right direction, but there is always somewhere to progress to spiritually
• Temporally -- Good for now; hopefully I'll do better when I get a real job
• Unequivocally -- Good; I need to learn to be more clear...
• Unidirectionally -- Very Good; things pull you off the path, but I'm trying to head in one direction
• Virtually -- Very Poor; I'm the real deal.
• Vocally -- Very Good; I can speak, I almost never lose my voice, and I can sing
• Zoologically -- Very Poor; I'm not much of an animal

Kirsti wanted me to answer "Wombatally" as well, so here goes...

• Wombatally -- Very Poor; I am not a wombat.

"Be ye therefore perfect": a knee-buckling commandment

I've been a slacker blogger, I know, but I'll get to updates later. I just wanted to share some thoughts I had today.

I've been rereading the May 2011 Conference edition Ensign in preparation for General Conference this weekend. In his talk entitled "An Ensign to the Nations", Elder Holland talked about being a disciple of Christ. He said, "As the path of discipleship ascends, that trail gets ever more narrow until we come to that knee-buckling pinnacle of the sermon [on the mount]: 'Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.' " (p 112, referring to Matt 5:48).  As I read this, the reference to this "knee-buckling pinnacle" hit me, and I pondered on it.

Whenever we come to a point in our lives that we are trying so hard and failing, we are so beat down by life, or we just can't seem to take one step further, what happens? Our knees buckle. Anyone who has experienced significant failure, heartache, loss, or is crushed in some other way knows that this is both metaphoric and literal. You may feel so crushed by a failure that you feel like you've fallen down and can't get up. When exercising and you can't take one step further, your legs give out and your knees buckle. Any substantial loss or inability to press forward can affect you so strongly that you have a hard time standing (let alone walking) because of your knees buckling.

Ironically, I was exercising hard at the gym when this thought came to mind, and my knees were somewhat close to buckling. Perhaps that situation was why it hit me so strongly.

To me, it is no coincidence that our knees buckling beneath us puts us in the same physical position in which we pray. I am confident that the Lord created us this way for a reason. When we face these trials and tribulations that are too much for us to handle, our knees buckle and we fall into that kneeling position, the perfect place for prayer. But do we pray then? Many will forget to do so. Those who have learned the value of relying on the Lord know that when we fall to our knees and can't get back up, if we pray to Our Father, He will give us the strength to press forward.

This commandment to be perfect as God is perfect is indeed a knee-buckling idea. I think about my weaknesses and sins and wonder how I'll ever make it that far, or even come close to it. But as my knees buckle and I pray to the Lord because I can't do this alone, He brings me back up to a standing position, strengthens my feeble knees, and pours into me His power to persevere.

I once had a friend tell me I should stop trying to be perfect because it'll never happen. But this is a commandment from God, and it is a continuous process. The key is to understand the process by which we are made perfect. Moroni clarifies this for us: Moroni 10:32-33 Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God. And again, if ye by the grace of God are perfect in Christ, and deny not his power, then are ye sanctified in Christ by the grace of God, through the shedding of the blood of Christ, which is in the covenant of the Father unto the remission of your sins, that ye become holy, without spot.

I love the footnotes to the scriptures; they so enrich our learning. The words "come unto Christ" have a footnote that relates the idea to "being teachable", and to Revelations 22:17, which tells us that anyone who hears and thirsts can come to Christ to partake of living water. "Be perfected in him" has several additional footnotes: a reference to Galatians 3:24 (we are justified by faith), a note that we are to be spiritually reborn, and a note that we are to be worthy. To "deny yourselves of all ungodliness" is also to persevere. So to come to Christ in humility, desiring for that living water, having faith, being spiritually reborn through our baptismal covenants, living worthily, denying ourselves of ungodliness, persevering, plus being committed to God with all our heart, might, mind, and strength, qualify us for His grace, which is what perfects us. Through that process, we come to rely more and more on the Lord until we cannot deny His power, and according to His prophet Moroni, that is what sanctifies us and makes us holy. NONE of this is possible without wholly relying on Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, and the beautiful gift of His Atonement.

How many prophets in the scriptures have spoken of those telling moments in their lives when they fell down before God, pleading for help in that which they could not bear? Heavenly Father never left them alone, and He will never leave us alone. In 1 Nephi we learn that He will give us no commandment without preparing a way for us to accomplish it. He commands us to be perfect, and He has prepared a way for us to obey. When our knees buckle because we are so discouraged or pained that we can't take one more step, do we pray to the Lord for strength to move on? Ancient and modern prophets have done it; can we not do the same?

BYU: A Few Little-Known Goodies

Here are a few of the best little-known goodies that BYU has to offer:

Free BYU Gym access -- Okay, so a lot of people have heard that BYU has a weight room where students who are currently taking courses can exercise for free. If you were one of those who didn't know, now you know. But what's more is that they've recently redone the place, and it's much larger with a lot more equipment (and many new machines). I've been taking advantage of it every day this week.

BUSM 200 "Personal Finance" -- This class is excellent. I've been to only two lectures so far and I already love it. That is certainly saying something, because I hate dealing with money and worrying about things like 401(K)s and Pension Plans and Insurance...but Brother Scott Marsh really knows what he's talking about. His lectures are highly engaging, and he makes me feel like I can actually understand and make the most of these things so that I can live a financially stable life and not have to work until I have great-grandchildren.

Graduate Student Religion course access -- Apparently Grad Studies at BYU lets graduate students take religion classes for free. You receive no course credit, of course (har har), but it's not like auditing. With auditing, you have to pay tuition for the course. In this case, you fill out a form, have the religion professor sign it, and you can attend his/her class for free. I am currently taking advantage of this great opportunity to learn more about spiritual things from knowledgeable professors while saving some money in the process.

The end of summer =(

Uh oh...classes start up again in 2 weeks.

This is the time where I try to figure out what I've been doing all summer...

Research Research Research

Sometimes I really wonder why I went into Sociology when I really don't care for research. I've never cared for it. Sometimes you find out things that may be interesting, but doing research just isn't a pleasant experience for me.

X-men: More First Class than Harry Potter

There were two movies that I was looking forward to more than anything else that came out this summer: "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" and "X-men: First Class".

Overall, Harry Potter was very good. I really enjoyed going with my two best friends to see it at midnight when I was home in California. But I'd be less than honest if I didn't admit that I was a little disappointed. It wasn't because of changes from the book, though there was one change in particular that I think would have made people who paid attention but didn't read the book ask some questions about what happened with "x". They could have dropped nothing and just added 30 seconds or a minute to the film time to solve that. The reason was that there were multiple parts when I thought, "Really? That's the best you could do? I've seen you do better." These were emphasized by the fact that there were multiple other parts in the movie where I was blown away because they did such a good job. Why didn't they do that for the whole movie? I don't know. But it was still generally good.

But X-Men: First Class...that was amazing. I LOVED it. I know there were many things that were changed from the comics and from the cartoons, but still. I was very impressed. Good visuals, interesting plot (just ignore the historical alterations), great dialogue, an excellent villain, and overall a good background story for several of the characters, which I think will shed a different light upon reviewing X-men 1-3. It was my favorite live-action film that has been released in quite a while. If you haven't seen it yet, you should.

More than kisses, letters mingle souls; for thus friends absent speak

(Title quote: John Donne)

Getting the mail used to be exciting; you'd open the mailbox and your heart would skip a beat as you pulled out a letter, personally addressed to you. "And none will hear the postman's knock without a quickening of the heart. For who can bear to feel himself forgotten?" (W.H. Auden). Now when I open the mailbox, I find only ads and bills and credit card offers and magazines I don't want and never subscribed to. At least half of them are addressed to former residents of my apartment "or current resident", which is even more annoying. Except for the bills, it's like my mailbox is full of spam emails. Sometimes I wish I could have the mailman filter my mail like I can on gmail, so that ads, credit card offers, magazines, things addressed to other people, etc are automatically deleted and I don't even have to look at them. Of course, I could just keep moving as I have every 8 months or so since I came to college. Whenever I move I stop receiving mail for a while until the credit card companies find me again (they're getting quicker and quicker at finding me, too). But then I don't receive any mail at all, and it's almost better to receive only credit card offers than no mail at all because at least somebody is sending me something. Do you remember getting personal letters in the mailbox?

I miss good old-fashioned letter writing. I'm not talking about parchment with quill and ink and wax seal here, though if I had sealing wax I would use it for everything from post-it notes to letters to papers I turn in for school. Rather, I miss writing a letter on a piece of paper, sticking it in an envelope with a stamp on it, and dropping it off in the mail box to be sent to a friend. "To send a letter is a good way to go somewhere without moving anything but your heart" (Phyllis Theroux). And I miss receiving personal handwritten letters in the mail. Am I alone here? 

There is nothing like getting a handwritten letter. "A letter is a blessing, a great and all-too-rare privilege that can turn a private moment into an exalted experience" (Alexandra Stoddard). There's something very personal about taking the time to write on paper and mail a letter snail mail rather than typing out an email. To make a typed email seem personal you have to talk about personal things, and to really achieve that intimate connection you have to talk about serious, personal issues. But you can write a letter by hand, sharing nothing more intimate than "life is good", and it feels just as personal. Of course, that is not usually how it happens. Usually a handwritten letter contains that personal conversation that we all crave and love, while emails are impersonal, short and to the point. No one wants to read a long email, but everyone wants to read a long letter. 

I understand that email is free and handwritten letters cost 44 cents apiece. That does add up if you want to write on a regular basis. Even so, is it worth the cost? Most of our correspondence has become bland, strictly business, lacking emotional content and personality. Is it worth it? In an email you can only write words and sometimes attach picture or other files for the recipient. In a letter, you can enclose anything you wish, so long as it fits in the envelope. You can press a flower into a book and send it to a person with a letter; no virtual flower brings such a smile. I miss the personality, the warmth and personal nature of letter writing.

"In a man's letters, you know, Madam, his soul lies naked, his letters are only the mirror of his breast, whatever passes within him is shown undisguised in its natural process. Nothing is inverted, nothing distorted, you see systems in their elements, you discover actions in their motives" (Samuel Johnson).

Uh...hi.

I'm still alive, just fyi. I was going to write about what's happened since I last wrote, but then I realized...nothing has really happened. That's how interesting my life is right now =P So let me pull things out of nowhere here...

- Over spring term at BYU, I worked on the child health paper I've been doing for a year now. The department can't pay me for summer term, though, which means I have no job right now and have to be smart with my money. We all love when that happens.

- A group of friends and I started up a dinner group, which I've never done before but which is a great idea. We hold it M-Th and rotate who cooks, so since there are 6 of us, we only have to cook dinner once every week and a half or so (excluding weekends). It's nice to have dinner group with a small group of women: you don't have to cook bucket loads of food for 10 or 12, you don't have to cook for voraciously hungry men, and you always have meals that taste good. Plus we all (except one) live within a few blocks of each other, so we can almost always walk.
- My brother K's family came to visit from out of state for a few days. I had fun with my nieces and nephew that I don't get to see very often. We went to Temple Square, played at the park, played with nerf guns...it was great.
- My friend D came to visit, also from out of state. That was super fun; my sister K and I got to show her all the great things about Provo life. This meant mostly eating lots of food and going shopping, but we also went to Temple Square and walked around. And we played with my niece M, of course.
- 4th of July happened, in case you didn't notice. Fireworks, celebrations, etc. Good times.
- I was sick for about two weeks, most of that with a bad cold/sore throat and the last part with a stomach bug that kept me fevered and achey and sleepless for a day/night/day. I'm in recovery stage now, and quarantining myself so that my ridiculously weak immune system has time to fully recharge its batteries. I'd really rather not catch a third illness right now.
- I get to go home to CA again next week with my sister C and her family, for about 5 days. Looking forward to some time with other family and friends, and finally hitting up the beach.
- Having no job right now means I have nothing to do besides work on that pesky thesis, which I'm avoiding...why? I don't really know. I have zero motivation to do it. I need to find some, otherwise I'll be stuck in this Master's degree forever...

So I guess some things have happened...anyway. Hope you're all alive; I suspect you are if you're reading this, though I can't be certain.

P.S. Here's a pdf of my poster that won me a prize at a research conference, in case any of you want to see it (click if you want to read it). Enjoy!

Okay I love you, buh bye!

The music is all around you. All you have to do is listen.

August Rush is about a boy who is a musical genius. He doesn't know who doesn't know who his parents are but knows that the music will lead him to them and them to him. He knows that music is their connection, and music is everything. “You know what music is? God`s little reminder that there`s something else besides us in this universe, a harmonic connection between all living beings, everywhere, even the stars.”

For August Rush, music is everywhere... “Listen. Can you hear it? The music. I can hear it everywhere...in the wind...in the air...in the light. It`s all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do...is listen.”

Right now, I am listening...and I can hear it. I can hear it in the click of the keys and the hum of my laptop fan. I can hear it in waves from the air conditioner. I can hear it in the rustling of the blinds, in my feet rubbing against the wall. I can hear it in the cars rushing by outside, and the train nearby. I can hear it in the imagined sounds floating on the air.

August said, “Where I've grown up, they tried to stop me from hearing the music. But when I'm alone it builds up from inside me. And I think if I could learn how to play it, they might hear me. They would know I was theirs...and find me.” My situation is slightly different. Where I went to college, they tried to stop me from hearing the music. Three auditions for the music program—my greatest wish—proved a fruitless cause. Their rejection letters told me I didn’t cut it. The faces of the music students told me I was undeserving, that they were the ones who deserved to hear and make music, not me. But when I’m alone, it builds up from inside me. And I think if I could learn how to really play it, to summon it, to embody it, they might hear me. They would know I was theirs...and find me. Who are “they”? Anyone who would know my soul...my dearest friends...my perfect match...anyone to whose life I might bring the gift of music. “They” are more than people who might know me. They are the music themselves...the muses, the rhythms, the notes, the chords, the harmonies...if I could learn how to call it, the music might hear me. It might know I belong to it and find me.

And maybe that has been my problem. August “[believed] in music the way that some people believe in fairy tales.” I lost my wholehearted faith in music to lift me up, to rescue me while troubled, to save me from the difficulties of life and set me free as it always used to. When I failed to qualify for the music program at school, I doubted music and I doubted myself. But as August’s father told him, “You never quit on your music. No matter what happens. Cuz anytime something bad happens to you, that's the one place you can escape to and just let it go. I learned that the hard way. And anyway, look at me. Nothing bad's gonna happen. You gotta have a little faith.” I shouldn’t have doubted music, or even my own ability to make it. I should never have given up on it because anytime something bad happens to me—anytime someone tells me that I shouldn’t try to make music—music is the one place I can escape to and just let it go. I need to have a little faith.

When asked how the music comes to him, August responded, “I just hear it. Sometimes I wake up and it's there...or I hear it when I'm walking down the street. It's like someone's calling out to me. Writing it all down is like I'm calling back to them, the ones who gave me the music.” I haven’t been listening for the music, but I am listening now, and I can hear it. I can feel it, like a rushing in my heart, like waves crashing on the sea, like sunlight radiating inside me. It’s like someone’s calling out to me. I have to find a way to answer back, to channel this gift into a way to call back to them.

“Listen. Can you hear it? The music. I can hear it everywhere...in the wind...in the air...in the light. It`s all around us. All you have to do is open yourself up. All you have to do...is listen.”

I’m listening.

Lyrics of my life

Those who know me know that I always have a million songs or lines of music running through my head. Music has fashioned me into the person I am today, and even though I spend most of my time doing things unrelated to it these days, music still has great power over me. As always, when I listen to music I think about the deeper meaning behind the notes and/or behind the lyrics. Here are a few pieces of songs that I’ve been thinking about lately and that to some degree define my current situation in life.

And so I'll read a book 

Or maybe two or three
I'll add a few new paintings to my gallery
I'll play guitar and knit
And cook and basically
Just wonder when will my life begin?...
And I'll reread the books
If I have time to spare
I'll paint the walls some more,
I'm sure there's room somewhere.
And then I'll brush and brush,
and brush and brush my hair
Stuck in the same place I've always been.
And I'll keep wondering and wondering
And wondering and wondering
When will my life begin?

I have often dreamed of a far off place
Where a great warm welcome will be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying this is where I'm meant to be
I will find my way
I can go the distance
I'll be there someday
If I can be strong
I know every mile will be worth my while
I will go most anywhere to feel like I belong

I drew my line across the sand
And set my flank in no-man’s land
But here I am, the one-man band
With a song that's meant for two

I am floating away
Lost in a silent ballet
I'm dreaming you're out in the blue

And I am right beside you
Awake to take in the view
Late nights and early parades
Still photos and noisy arcades
My darling, we're both on the wing, look down and keep on singing!
And we can go anywhere
Are you there?
Are you there, or are you just a decoy dream in my head?
Am I home or am I simply tumbling all alone? 

Are you there?

I'm not surprised, not everything lasts
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up then I let myself down
I might have to wait, I’ll never give up
I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck
Wherever you are, whenever it's right
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life
And I know that we can be so amazing
And being in your life is gonna change me
And now I can see every single possibility
Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid I'll give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet
And someday I know it'll all turn out
And I'll work to work it out
Promise you kid I’ll give more than I get
I just haven't met you yet

Books, Film, and Media Literacy

As a fan of both books and movies, I am pleased when I find out that a book I like is going to be made into a movie or when a film I like was adapted from a book. It’s interesting to compare the two, particularly to see what was changed when the book was made into film. Most of the time I can understand why this or that change was made, but when I can’t, I have to tell myself that the movie and the book are different forms of media and I have to consider them as separate entities.

I’m sure each of us knows at least one person who hates films adapted from books. They consider themselves purists, that any changes made for the film defile the story. But if you pause to think about it, would it really be better to include everything in a film exactly as it is in the book? If a movie-maker were to include every little detail from the book, the film would likely be an utter disaster (an example: see “Twilight”). For one thing, books are long, and few if any people would want to watch a 10 hour production of one book. For another, how many parts of books have to do with concerns such as a lack of resources on a long journey? These fit well in a book because the pages have room for them and they are valid concerns, yet on film they would detract from the excitement of other events or would get annoying with the repetition.

I understand the purist perspective, and there are a number of books-turned-movies that I take issue with for the same reason. For example, take the film “Ella Enchanted” (spoilers if you haven’t seen it): in the book, there’s no evil uncle who usurped the throne and wants to have Ella kill the prince. I understand why they changed it, because Ella’s main struggle in the book is with how her curse might be used to force her to endanger the Prince. I also understand why at the end they have her fight the curse with a knife in her hand, actually struggling to prevent herself from killing him, rather than fighting an internal battle when the Prince asks her to marry him as in the book. These things are internal battles that are much more easily described in a book than on film. Films require visuals (obviously); therefore it makes perfect sense that they would create visuals for these internal conflicts because we cannot easily get inside a person’s head on film. Even though I understand them inventing the evil uncle, it bothers me because they had to change/create an extensive portion of the story for the film adaptation. I believe there are other ways they could have altered the story to show the threat of her curse against the Prince without inventing so many changes.

Here are some more examples of appropriate changes (as I interpret them) to books-turned-movies (again, spoilers):

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – They took out the scene at the end with Hermione using logic in the potions room to figure out which potion they should drink. Why? It was too long (especially for a children’s movie), and Hermione had already had the chance to show off her skills with the Devil’s Snare, giving her one opportunity, Ron one opportunity, and Harry one opportunity before Harry’s final fight with Quirrel at the end.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – Instead of having Dobby bring Harry the gillyweed as in the book, they had Neville do it. Why? It advanced the idea that Neville is good at herbology, and also gave his character a slightly more prominent role in the film. Plus, it was easier to film Matthew Lewis doing the action than do the computer graphics required to create Dobby’s image enacting the part.

The Little Mermaid – In the movie she becomes human and they live happily ever after. In the book she becomes the foam of the sea. Why the change? It’s a children’s movie, of course. I don’t think I need to explain it further.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – At the end of this movie, they adapt the end of the book with the beginning of the Two Towers. They created a scene showing Boromir fighting to save Merry and Pippin, with slow motion showing one of the enemy shooting him with one arrow, then two, then three, him struggling to fight more Orcs in spite of each arrow. In the book, we see none of this battle; instead, we follow Aragorn, who finds Boromir lying on the ground after a great battle, ridden with many arrows. Why? In the book we are free to imagine the great battle that he fought alone. In a film, there is no time to stop and imagine because the visuals are right in front of you and moving super quickly. In recreating what might have happened, the film touches each viewer, showing Boromir’s tragic end, allowing the viewers to commiserate with Aragorn. Also at the end of this film and before Boromir’s fight with the Orcs, they foreshadow his attempt to take the ring from Frodo by showing several camera shots back and forth between the two. You can’t do this in a book, but in the movie it is a subtle but distinct demonstration that something is going to happen between them.

I’ve said too much, but my point is that a book can be excellent and a film can be excellent. They can even both be excellent when they are about the same story. But as different forms of media, they have to portray that story in different ways. Books can’t use music to warn the audience of potential danger like movies can. Movies have much more difficulty showing the passage of time than books do, and often movies that jump around between past, present, and future are confusing and difficult to follow. Books have the freedom of length and time for imagination that movies do not, but movies can use blocking, tracking, camera angles, and lighting to help them tell the story. Each form is good in its own right, and each ought to be considered for their individual contributions to story-telling.

Happy Mother's Day!

Last year I wrote a blogpost on Mother's Day acknowledging mothers and the work they do. It's only fitting that I do so once again. I realize that Mother's Day is almost over, but that's okay. Mothers need to be celebrated more than just one day a year, because they are awesome. Thank you, mothers, for your selfless and often unrecognized and unappreciated service every day. Yours is a godly task; President Joseph F. Smith once said that "The love of a true mother comes nearer [to] being like the love of God than any other kind of love" ("The Love of Mother," Improvement Era, Jan 1910, pg 278). Yours is a difficult task but a profound blessing, and you will be rewarded eternally for fulfilling this high calling. My heart goes out to those of you who are not able to have children. You are still mothers; the Lord provides us all with opportunities to mother. In His time, He will not withhold this wonderful blessing from the righteous woman who seeks it. Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there, especially my own mother who raised me, and my sisters and sisters-in-law who are raising my nieces and nephews. Happy Mother's Day to all the women who have been mothers to me, including Young Women leaders, Relief Society leaders, Priesthood leaders' wives, mothers of my friends, and my friends themselves. I love you all.

Joss Whedon and Buffy, The Vampire Slayer

Recently I've been using Netflix to watch the TV series Buffy, The Vampire Slayer, written by Joss Whedon. If you're not familiar with his work, Joss Whedon also wrote Angel (spinoff from Buffy), Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Firefly, and the film Serenity, among others. As I am familiar with much of his work, I can say with confidence that he is a great writer of television, and arguably one of the most creative. Even if you don't like vampires or science fiction or musicals, I don't see how you can not appreciate his style and creativity in the production of these shows. For the dialogue alone it is worth watching these shows.

I used to watch Buffy when I was a kid, but I remembered only very basic characters when I started watching it again a couple months ago. I'll admit that season 1 was hard to get through at times, as it is with most shows, especially since lower budget for new TV shows means lower quality costuming (difficult to ignore when the Slayer fights demons that don't look very demonic). But I'm now almost done with season 2 and am really enjoying the storyline. With me, a good film or TV show is all about the plot. For example, I used to watch Glee a lot because of the music. (Coincidentally for this post, Joss Whedon directed one of my favorite Glee episodes, Dream On, with guest stars Neil Patrick Harris and Idina Menzel.) But when the plot for Glee started having some serious issues, I got more and more frustrated. Sure, it was still funny and the singing/dancing was usually great though occasionally subpar, but it got old--fast--without a good plotline. Buffy, though it's about a high school girl who slays vampires, never gets old because Whedon keeps the storyline fresh and interesting. Of course, I also think Sarah Michelle Gellar and her co-stars are good actors, particularly David Boreanaz. They do an excellent job of portraying the characters. It's possible that the later seasons get worse, and I'm keeping an open mind about that, but I know Joss Whedon is talented and I am excited to see what happens.

I didn't intend to make this a post about how wonderful Joss Whedon is. In fact, I meant to talk about how people have responded to me watching Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Most seem indifferent, because it's not airing right now. Yet a couple people have responded to me with derision, one even saying they can't respect me for watching it. Why? What's embarrassing about this show? Is it because it's about vampires? They are not exactly sparkly Edwards, nor is Buffy any vapid, insecure, helpless Bella. I'm not embarrassed to be watching it. Why do some people find it so mockable?

Price check on prune juice, Bob...

So this one time I decided I was going to write a blogpost nearly every day, or at least 3-4 times a week...then I didn't for three weeks. Oops. Sorry! I just didn't have anything interesting to say...

Here's what you've missed:

- I won $300 for my poster at a research conference. That was pretty cool.

- I officially finished my first year of grad school, which means I am officially half done with my Master's degree (provided I finish my thesis on time). I even got out with decent grades--not as good the last semester as the first, but still pretty good. Now I have to spend some time figuring out what to do for my thesis...

- I got all moved into my new apartment. The only real negative so far is that I am slightly allergic to the place (the girl who lived here before us had a cat). I had better look into buying a bed frame instead of sleeping on my mattress on the floor, close to the carpet that probably still has cat hair/dander in it. Anyone know of a good place in the Provo/Orem area to get a twin bed frame/box spring for relatively cheap? Price check on prune juice, Bob...

- Baby blessing for niece M. Family came into town and it was fun. M is very cute, she's 7 weeks old today and growing so much already.

- My sister C's birthday. We partied by playing games and eating pizza. What better way to party, right? And since we don't drink, we even remembered the whole thing. Awesome.

- California and family. I got to go home for almost two weeks, and I got to enjoy lots of palm trees and sunshine. I miss those things (especially sunshine and warmth...I flew back on Saturday and it was snowing.). Saw my brother D and wife M, and his kids L and S. They are so fun and so smart...S is almost 5, yet she reads 2nd grade level books. She loves to read and loves to learn. L is 7, and his new thing is that he has memorized the list of 100 most populated cities in the US and can tell you without stopping to think which city is which number or vice versa. He loves maps, geography, populations, etc. My brother K also came into town with his daughter K for one day; he had to do something for work in a nearby city, so they stayed at our house. K is doing great and growing strong. I look forward to seeing her progress continue. We celebrated (very late) my mom's birthday with a surprise dinner at Marie Callendar's, and that was fun. I also got to see a bunch of friends, like K and N (Disneyland!), J, E, and M and A who moved to Indiana but were visiting, and more. I also got to eat at a bunch of my favorite places, including two times at Miguel's Jr. It was a good trip. Didn't make it to the beach, but c'est la vie. It was a much needed break. I find that lately, every time I leave California and come back to Utah, I miss CA more and am more depressed about coming back to UT =P Not that Utah is that terrible; it has been pretty good to me, but I'm ready to move on to somewhere else after I graduate. Whether that's back to CA or off somewhere completely different, I don't know yet, but I'm open to wherever the Lord guides me.

- Easter! For the first time since high school, I was home in CA for Easter. We went to the annual Easter egg hunt/pinata fiesta at my cousins who I haven't seen in a long time, and I spent some time with my Grandpa, his wife, and my dad's sister J who I haven't seen in years. My mom made her traditional delicious cinnamon rolls. But of course, most importantly, we celebrated the resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, we would have no hope for the future. Without Him, we would be eternally damned, but with Him, we have the hope of eternal life.

Now you're all caught up =) I suppose I shall have to figure out things to write about now, if I want to write more regularly...and I don't have the excuse of summer classes to keep me from writing! I'll be working but not taking classes all summer, though I plan to spend a lot of time on my thesis. So if I don't write, I will blame my thesis and work. Happy May, everyone!

In That Holy Place

Lately I have considered whether or not it is the right time for me to make an important step in my spiritual progression: that of attending the temple. I am blessed to live in a place where the temple is close enough that I can do baptisms on a regular basis. However, I have not yet been blessed with the opportunity of being sealed in the temple to a righteous man for time and all eternity. In my youth, I did not anticipate that there would come a time when I would be still unmarried but of an age and spiritual maturity that would lead me to consider receiving my temple covenants, rather than wait to do so until my knight in shining armor comes along. But though I did not foresee its coming, that time has come.

Before anyone assumes as much, this is not an announcement; I choose to share these feelings with you because they have been on my mind and in my heart. This is a deeply personal decision between me, the Lord, and with the counsel of my Bishop, and I feel that this is something I don't need to rush into. I feel I may be ready to make those covenants, but it is not something the Lord is urging me to do at this time. At a recent Stake Conference, my stake president, President Dahle, said, "It's not so much about getting into the temple, but about getting the temple in you." My efforts will be well spent in striving to purify my spirit and my life. If I focus on sanctifying myself and keep attending the temple regularly to perform baptisms by proxy, He will let me know when the time is ripe. Perhaps I will have met a man to marry by then; perhaps not. The Lord knows all things, and He knows what will happen then and what I need to be doing at this time.

"In That Holy Place", by Sally DeFord

Holy temple; hallowed walls; filled with heaven's light
Where the Spirit teaches truth and testifies of Christ
There within that holy place our hearts are made as one
United by the power of God in pure eternal love

House of learning; house of faith; house of peace and prayer;
House of glory; house of God; I’ll feel his presence there
I will stand with heart and hands kept clean and pure each day
Worthy of the blessings found in that holy place

Holy temple where we learn creation's grand design
Where our souls will be endowed with power from on high
There we kneel, our hearts prepared, to cov'nant with our Lord
And there his Spirit binds our lives in love forever more

House of learning; house of faith; house of peace and prayer;
House of glory; house of God; I’ll feel his presence there
I will stand with heart and hands kept clean and pure each day
Worthy of the blessings found in that holy place

Holy temple where we bless our loved ones gone before

Where eternal ties are sealed by sacred priesthood pow'r
There we turn our hearts to those who gave us life and birth
How beautiful that holy place where heaven dwells on earth

House of learning; house of faith; house of peace and prayer;
House of glory; house of God; I’ll feel his presence there
I will stand with heart and hands kept clean and pure each day
Worthy of the blessings found in that holy place.


http://www.defordmusic.com/inthatholyplace.htm

April Living (Avril Lavigne?)

Life in April is just great. It's a good month. It starts off with a holiday I don't really care for (April Fool's jokes are rarely genuinely funny anymore, they tend to be uncreative or just plain mean), but it makes up for it with the other 29 days. At the beginning of April is when the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints speak to us, giving us counsel and guidance and commandments from the Lord. This provides us with a great spiritual feast. April 6th is the anniversary of the reorganization of The Church in the latter days. April is when it really starts to get warmer (except for here in Utah...it got really sunny but is now snowing again. The weather here is definitely bipolar.). April is the month of my sister C's birthday (yay!) and a few cousins' birthdays (also yay!). It is also the month ending winter semester at BYU, which means I get a break from course work until Fall semester. It's when I get to move (this week!) to a new apartment, which will be great. What's more, the end of April is when I get to go back home to visit family, friends, and California for almost two whole weeks! I'm excited. I'd say it's the best month of the year so far. =)

In Avril's own words, as applied to the month of April..."You're not, not, not gonna get any better, You won't, won't, won't, you won't get rid of me never..."*

*This may or may not be a slight adaptation of the meaning of the lyrics. To hear the original song, feel free to check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2i5Jp7mdMc.

The act of writing is an act of optimism. You would not take the trouble to do it if you felt it didn't matter. -- Edward Albee

I want to write about how much harder it is to speak than to write sometimes, but even the written words won't come for me right now. This is one of those times where if I was using paper and pen instead of a computer, I'd've spent the last hour crumpling up page after page and tossing it over my shoulder. As has been said, "Ink and paper are sometimes passionate lovers, oftentimes brother and sister, and occasionally mortal enemies" (attributed to either Terri Guillemets or Emme Woodhull-Bäche). Even so, I prefer it to speaking, for while they sometimes take their time, the words always come when I'm writing, and they usually don't when I'm speaking.

I've always been better at writing than speaking; the latter is a frustrating mess in which I struggle fruitlessly to come up with the right words at the right moment and I don't make any sense, nor do I share anything I intended to say. Once I met up with a former friend to talk about why we had parted ways; yes, we talked, but when we parted I realized I hadn't said any of the things I'd meant to say. I asked him if he would read a letter from me expressing those unsaid thoughts. I wasn't able to speak the words I wanted to speak, but they flowed comfortably from my pen.

Some say that writing is cowardly, that if you have something to say you should just say it. But "the role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say" (Anaïs Nin). There are always things I want to say, but I don't know how to say them. Those things I am most passionate about are the ones I find most difficult to express through speaking, and even sometimes through writing. Hart Crane said that "One must be drenched in words, literally soaked in them, to have the right ones form themselves into the proper pattern at the right moment." Even with my best writing I am never completely satisfied, as there are many things words simply cannot express. But when I have something I want to say, most times I prefer to write it. It is the form through which I communicate best.

Just an update. Routine procedure.

Wow, longest break between blogposts for me this year! Sorry, I have been really busy...so how about an update?

PSA went really well, and Seattle was just great. I'm so glad PSA is over but I'm also glad I went. It was good for me. Not to mention all the really good food I ate there...a sourdough smoked salmon bacon clubhouse sandwich, Manhattan clam chowder bread bowl, amazing pennoni pasta with chicken and vodka cream sauce, French food including an excellent spinach pastry, Starbucks hot chocolate (there really is a Starbucks on every corner, for those of you who have never been to Seattle), Cheesecake factory, and more...oh man. Good stuff. I especially love seafood. But the conference was great.

Then on Monday, Pie Day, my sister K had her baby! My new niece is super cute and I love holding her. My mom drove up to help out K and her husband R adjust to this whole new parenting thing. It has been great to spend time with them as well as with my other sister and her family. It was a very busy weekend with them all--busy but good! K's birthday and my mom's birthday were also last week, so it was great timing. Ceeeeellleebrate good times, come onn!

Also, I finally found a place to move to. The city where I live has two universities in it, and most of the housing contracts in the area are organized around semesters. That means most places where students live have contracts from the beginning of September through the third week of April, and they also have contracts for May through August. It's kind of weird. So since I still live in BYU-approved off campus housing, I have to move out in a month. Luckily, this past week I found a new place to live! Since I'm a grad student and I don't have to live in BYU-approved housing, it's a quaint little condo where I can just rent for a year and renew the lease as desired. I can move in any time, too, which means I don't have to worry about that one week of no-man's land that most students have to face when moving in and out of BYU-approved apartment complexes. (That's the week when they all do carpet cleaning and the like.) It'll be nice to be in my own place, with just one other person in the condo, our own private rooms (I can't believe I'm 23 and still in a shared room), and we can do whatever want with the place. Hallelujah.

Work and school keep me super busy, and I'm behind in both (yay). I'm really ready for a break; this summer can't come soon enough. Other than that, life is moving right along! More blogposts to come soon.

P.S. March Madness!! Loving basketball, and loving how well BYU is doing. Let's see how far we can go!

post PSA: post Persnickety Seattle Affirmations? er...

So, remember how I've been working my tail off for PSA for the last few months? And remember how a few days ago I drove 14 hours to Seattle to present at the 2011 PSA Conference?

Well, I'm done. =)

Yep, that's all I feel right now. No exclamation points, not in all caps, I'm just glad to be done. It feels really anticlimactic -- one of the three presenters didn't come, so it was just the two of us, and only four people came to watch the session...which means we had an hour and a half long time slot but took up only thirty minutes of it, including three questions at the end. But it was great. I'm really glad it's over.

Now to watch the basketball game...GO BYU!! Thank goodness for Fox Sports Grill right around the corner from our hotel, or we couldn't watch it!

Done with PSA, BYU game (which we better win...), and a clam chowder bread bowl for dinner tonight...yeah, that's all I need to make this a great night. =) See ya on the other side!

"If you want to be happy, be." -- Leo Tolstoy

I'm told I can be annoyingly optimistic at times, because I always try to turn a situation into a good thing if I can. Why? Because life isn't worth it otherwise! If you're going to be negative and cynical about everything, then you will not be happy. Maybe you get some sort of sick pleasure from being pessimistic or depressed, or some weird satisfaction, but that cannot and will not last. If you want to enjoy life, really enjoy it so much that your heart is light and a smile comes easily to your face, you've GOTTA let things go and look on the bright side of every situation.

That's just how I see it. Life is much more enjoyable that way. Anecdote time: One time when I was in France, a train strike in Nice made it so that I couldn't get from Nice to Paris and then from Paris to London, where I was supposed to fly back to the States the next day. The attendant said only, "There's a strike. You'll have to go to Paris tomorrow." So I spent the next several hours trying to find suitable transportation to London that day so that I could fly back to the States the next day. I was able to get a flight, luckily, but that silly train strike had cost me about $330 USD. As a starving college student, that's a lot of money! But hey, I was in France! I got to spend a little more time with my friend P (who I was leaving behind in Nice), and I didn't have to spend 8 or more hours on a train...which I wouldn't have minded anyway, for that matter. Rather than mope or rage about how those jerky train attendants were on strike for the day, I looked for the positive side. At least I was able to get a flight out and didn't have to spend $600 or more on another flight from Europe back to the U.S.! Now I can remember that experience as one that was expensive, but whatever...I don't laugh about it (there's not really anything funny about it), but I am indifferent to it instead of bitter or angry.

This is not completely random; there was something that inspired this post. I've been thinking about a couple of my friends who have been rather negative lately, but the trigger was something else. This morning on facebook, one of my facebook friends had written for his status, "On the bright side, my wicked cough is giving me chiseled abs..." Talk about seeing the good no matter what! I think in that case, if I wanted to be positive about it, I'd be grateful that I was getting rid of all the grossness from my lungs and happy that it meant I was almost done with being sick. But thinking about how your cough will give you chiseled abs? Now that's looking for the positive. As recorded in "The Secret Room", a woman in a Holocaust Concentration camp was grateful even for the fleas: they were so thick in their work area that the guards wouldn't go out there to beat and force the women to be silent, so she was able to have limited conversations with the other women.

While most of us won't have to go through something as difficult and oppressive as that, we can learn from Corrie ten Boom and be grateful for the fleas, or even from my facebook friend and be grateful for a cough. Life's too short to spend it being miserable anyway. Let's smile and laugh our way through, shall we?

Feelin' Good

You know what? I'm feelin' good. Today is a good day. I've got a few things maybe starting to get figured out in my life, or they at least have the potential to work out soon. I feel like I could do anything today. I'd like to say more, but I think my friend Michael Bublé will have to be the one to give it justice this morning.

"Feeling Good" lyrics

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom on a tree
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good

Dragonfly out in the sun you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done
That's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me

For me

Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Oh freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life

It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new life
For me

For me

I'm feeling good
I feel so good
I feel so good 

Hello Seattle, I am a researcher going there for PSA...

One week from now, I will be on my way to PSA in Seattle. Why? Oh yeah, because going to Conferences is good for networking and putting your research out there, not to mention getting research ideas from other people. But here it is, one week before I leave, and I feel ridiculously behind on preparation. Well, that's because I am behind...I'm struggling to run data, impute missing values, recode, etc before even analyzing the results. Ah well, it'll be worth it, right? In nine days and two hours I will be done with my presentation. I can't wait. At least I know I like Seattle! I'm looking forward to a sourdough bread bowl with clam chowder on the pier...yep, that's all I want. Some potential job opportunities would be nice, too.

Did I mention we're driving? From Provo to Seattle? Yeah. It won't be too bad, though; we've got those big BYU vans with a bunch of us riding and partying together, playing car games until we die of boredom. At least we won't miss our flight--the last time I went to Seattle with a school group, the bus was late and made us miss our flight, and we spent two full days in LAX just waiting for another flight to take us to Seattle. Now THAT was fun. Woo hoo! Sheesh, I sound like such a pessimist. Really though, as soon as I get this data to work properly for me, I will be excited. I'll be nervous to present research and have to sound smart, but it'll be great. And I do love Seattle. "Take me above your light, carry me through the night, hold me secure in flight, sing me to sleep tonight...Hello, Seattle..."

You know, it's a good thing you're not a big fat guy or this would be REALLY difficult...

I've been slacking lately on writing, mostly because all day I stare at a computer screen, working with Stata, and when I get home my poor eyes don't want to look at a computer screen. And I don't want to think. Meh.

Anyway. A few random thoughts...

- Playing "Screaming Viking" in a graduate university course is very entertaining, especially when your department chair has to interrupt to investigate because you're all being too loud. For those of you who don't know, this is one of those silly games people play while standing in a circle. Let me know if you want me to explain it to you sometime; it's just not the same in writing.

- BYU is really weird in a lot of ways, as is Provo. Sometimes I really wonder how I ended up here. It's a great school, of course, but the people, the social norms, the way of living, how people's minds work and what they think...pretty weird sometimes.

- Relationships are difficult, occasionally more so when you aren't even in one. People usually say that it can be less stressful and less work when you aren't dating anyone, but I don't know, experience has shown me that sometimes relationships can be better for you because they motivate you with all those healthy endorphins to go out and conquer the world. Plus, you're happy because you have someone to share your life with. Maybe I'll change my opinion on that when I get in another relationship, or maybe not.

- Going shopping can be a great stress reliever, especially if you are with someone who enjoys shopping as you do. You don't even have to buy anything for this to work; you can just walk around, enjoy trying on shoes and looking at clothes, jewelry, makeup, books, sheet music, musical instruments...man, shopping for any of that stuff can be a grand old time.

- Playing the piano and singing...how I wish I had the time to do these things. I try to on Sundays and occasionally on other days, but school and work keep me too busy to play/sing to my heart's content. But whenever I can do so, it is worth it. Music is my heart and my soul; it is my catharsis.

- Graduate school, graduate school...it is very difficult when you aren't really into it. Without the drive to accomplish the degree and pursue higher goals, it is nearly impossible to get anything done.

I could say plenty more, but I am so tired I should probably turn in. At least it's 3 hours later than when I originally wanted to go to bed. Sheesh, I'm lame.

"Ah, how shall I do it? I know! I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. And then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...ah ha ha ha ha! I'll smash it with a hammer!"

Goodnight.

The Wisdom of the Wizard: Albus Dumbledore

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." - What do we choose in life? What do we pursue? What do we want, and how do we show that to those around us? What do we choose?

"It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be." - How have we changed since we were small? Have we become better people? Have we grown into ourselves, or grown away from ourselves? Who are we now?

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live." - Are we living life? Do we brood over dreams or unfulfilled wishes? Do we go out to conquer the world or wait for it to hand us our desires? How do we live?

Guest Blog: To Blog, To Write.

This guest blog is brought to you by Kid In The Front Row, who had some spare time this weekend and wanted to go on tour with his blogging.  Kid is an anonymous film blogger; check out his blog if you're interested.

Why are we blogging? What the heck are we doing and who is listening? We don't really know what we're doing and most of the time we're convinced nobody is listening.

We're always convinced nobody is listening. We write and we write and we write, and no-one pays attention. Even at the Oscars; it's a day for the movie stars. Nobody remembers the writers. They only started remembering Aaron Sorkin after he had a cocaine habit.

It's strange how we take this as a norm. We know that blogging is uncool before we even start. Yet we still do it. It's like when you tell people you're a writer, you may as well have told them you had a one night stand with a chimpanzee. They think you're insane, or dreaming. This wouldn't be a problem except that society doesn't like the insane or the dreaming. But they're everything.

Where does a blog like "My Amphigory" fit in the world? Right now it might only have 10 readers, or 300 readers. And the most it will ever have might be 5000, or 50,000 -- but do those numbers matter? And who are they mattering to? Isn't it just great to be a human being who manages to type out your thoughts and ideas? It's a magnificent thing, and there are so many people doing it. Yet somehow, it's like we're still part of the uncool club. And we feel like we need to write better, and more often; in order to reach a prize. A prize that we don't even know. More readers? Fame? Understanding? Love?

What would happen if society valued its writers more? What if, when telling someone you're a blogger, they instantly gave you a million dollars and invited you onto a morning TV show? What if everyone found you more attractive because of it and your readership grew to ten million? Would it mean more, or less?

When you ask the questions, you realize how insane it is. All that matters is that we're all out there WRITING. Men, women, transgendered people; straight people, gay people, white people, black people, tall people, short people, disabled people, angry people, optimistic people, confused people, lonely people, boring people. At the end of the day; it's fantastic. The human experience is being inked down across the globe, every single second of every single day. And that's enough.

And thinking like that makes me want to worry less about how good my previous blog post was, or how many people will read the next thing I write. Because it's all just part of the fun of exploring who we are and what we feel.

-- KITFR

Running

I just wanted you all to know that I ran three miles today.  For you runners out there that is not a big deal, but up until last October I had never been a runner.  I'm not the world's thinnest person and I have never had any recognizable athletic ability.  I have never been on a sports team.  I don't seek out most (read: any) forms of athletic recreation.  I much prefer watching athletic events to participating in them.  I have asthma, which makes breathing especially difficult when exercising, and I live in a high altitude location where the air is already paper thin.  These limitations make it harder for me to be motivated to work out.  In sum, I am not typically a particularly physically (lots of "ally"s and "arly"s) active person, and certainly not a runner.

But now that has changed.  I ran three miles today!  You can't say you ran three miles and not acknowledge that you're a runner...so I am officially a runner now.  It was a slower-paced run, but I'm proud of myself for not breaking the pace to slow down or walk at all--I kept it constant on the treadmill the whole time.  I have been going regularly to the gym since October and have been training for a 5K.  That is to say, I was not training for a specific 5K, I just wanted to set a goal so I would have more motivation to run.  And now, I can tell you that I can run a 5K.  Yes, technically a 5K is 3.10685596 miles (so says Google), so I can't honestly tell all you literal-minded people that I have run a 5K.  I will run an actual 5K on Monday, though, to prove it to you and to myself.  And if I can do it, anyone (who doesn't have leg injuries/problems) can do it!  You just have to start small and push yourself a little further every day until you reach your goal.

My new goal is a 10K.  Bold?  Perhaps.  But I know that if I have gone this far, I can go that far again.  And I feel like building up from a 5K to a 10K will not be as hard as it was going from having difficulty running around the block to running a 5K.  Going from 2 miles to 3 miles wasn't so bad; what's adding on a few more?  Of course I know it won't be easy, but I know now that it is doable.  I'm not nearly as intimidated by the 10K as I was by the 5K.  I'm glad I'm doing this; I haven't felt good about how I've handled my stewardship over this body the Lord gave me.  I definitely haven't taken care of it, and I don't think that has pleased Him.  I hope He is pleased with my current efforts to change that and get more in shape!  And who knows?  Maybe a half marathon is in my future, then maybe a full marathon... :-o  But let's not get too ahead of ourselves.  Let's just take this one day and one run at a time.

The Mountain of The Lord

I find myself in a sober, reflecting mood tonight.  I have been pondering a lot lately about what is important and sacred: in particular, the temple.  There are many things that I could say about the temple, and I wrote some of them down, but I think I will say only this: the temple is the house of God, created for the sanctification of His people.  Every time I go I feel great peace, and I know I am where the Lord wants me to be.  He wants us to come unto Him and partake of the sacred ordinances He has made available for us in His house.  I look forward with earnestness to the day when I can go through the rest of the temple, and when I can be sealed in the temple to my husband for time and all eternity.

I've included the lyrics and a link to one of my favorite songs about the temple.  I hope this song brings His Spirit into your life as well.

The Mountain of The Lord (written by Doug Walker, performed by Jenny Jordan Frogley)

There is a place on earth
Where I can touch heaven
Where I can leave the world
Remember who I am
Where I can stand on holy ground
Where peace and comfort can be found
A sacred part of truth restored
There at the Mountain of the Lord

Inside His Holy House
There lies the power to bind
In heaven as on earth
The family of mankind
God’s work on earth and beyond the grave
So many souls He wants to save
I will be part of these truths restored
There at the Mountain of the Lord

So let us go up and He will teach us
    His ways
And we will walk in His paths to the end
    of our days
There is safety inside and power to spare
That comes from the promises we make
    there

If hallowed walls could speak
What scenes have they beheld
Angels and Heavenly Hosts
The Savior, God Himself
Yet to this place He lets me go
Commune with Him and fill my soul
And something strikes a familiar chord
There at the Mountain of the Lord

There at the Mountain of the Lord.


If you would like to know more, go here to learn about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints or here to learn more about LDS temples.